


Inside These Walls

by RealOrNotInspire



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: HAPPY ENDING PROMISED, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Requested fic, Season 7 compliant, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:20:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 33,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22454074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealOrNotInspire/pseuds/RealOrNotInspire
Summary: 7x10 Casey's apartment fire, an alternate take that of course ends in Sevasey.(First two chapters loosely follow the episode's and then it's all original writing.)
Relationships: Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide
Comments: 243
Kudos: 237





	1. The Fire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pall/gifts).



> Pall requested for the Christmas one shots that after Casey's apartment fire and Matt still doesn't have much stuff he has to borrow clothes from Kelly, which is of course a huge turn on for him... 
> 
> I didn't manage to get anything written for Christmas and I feel awful about it but when I picked up the story again it went from a one-shot to a full blown story of angst and sexual tension. I really hope this makes up for the wait Pall.

Covering for first shift, Severide’s asleep in his bunk when he’s woken up by the sound of the bells. Jumping up he’s halfway to the rig when he recognises the address, pulling on his bunker pants he shouts to the Truck Lieutenant.

“Hey, Parker! That’s Casey’s address!”

“Let’s go boys!” Parker yells to everyone, jumping into the rig.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Waking up Casey feels sluggish, confused, something’s not right, something woke him up, he’s just not sure what. The air feels thick as he breathes and he can smell the familiar scent of smoke and burning. Once he places the smell, something in his brain clicks into place and he jumps into action and out of bed. Casey had been sleeping in just his boxers so he pulls on the nearest clothes he has, jeans and a hoodie plus his sneakers. Using the back of his hand he checks the bedroom door for heat before opening it, his apartment is engulfed, he can just about see the front door but there’s no way he can get to it. Slamming the door closed and locking it he looks around the room.

“Shit.”

The windows are security glass, no way he can break them, the flames are starting to creep under the door and the adrenaline is kicking in but Matt Casey is a firefighter. Civilians panic, firefighters react, that’s the difference. No doors, no windows, option 3 it is then, make a hole. Taking a slow breath Casey moves to his closet, pulls out one of the rails and slides the clothes off, pulling down the bookcase he knocks on the wall, looking for the hollow section. Using the rail he makes a big enough hole to be able to kick out the insulation and other side of the wall, with one last look around the room he crawls through the wall and into the hallway.

The fire alarm is blaring and one of his neighbours, Carl is there in his pyjamas and he asks. “Matt, what’s going on?”

“Take the exists, call 911. This isn’t a drill.” Casey replies starting to knock on doors and clear the floor. His floor is clear but he knows the mother and daughter who live on the fourth floor and the little girl Sophie’s in a wheelchair, so he bounds up the stairs passing tired and confused neighbours along the way.

Running up to the apartment he finds the door unlocked. “Anna! Sophie! You still here!” He calls checking around the apartment.

“Matt! Thank god, back here!” He follows her voice and finds them in the girls bedroom, the mom getting her daughter into her wheelchair. “What’s happening? Is this real?”

“Yes, we need to go. We can’t use the elevator.” Kneeling down he tells them both. “It’s gonna be okay. I’ll get you out of here. Sophie wrap your arms around my neck and I’m gonna carry okay.”

“Okay.” The girl replies with a shaky voice.

“It’s gonna be okay, sweetie.” He says picking her up. “Anna let’s go, just stay low and keep moving.”

They head for the stairs, the young girl clinging to Matt so scared but he just keeps telling her, ‘it’s gonna be okay’ and keeps them moving. Getting to the second floor landing they can’t go any further, the fire is travelling through the walls and has made it to the staircase. The stairs are intact but the walls are on fire and without his turnout gear Casey can’t get them through it without getting burned up himself.

“Oh my god! Matt what do we do?” The mother yells.

Casey can already see the ceiling of the third floor beginning to catch and there’s only one place they can go. “Back up, come on. Back upstairs.” He says calm but firmly, they’re both panicking so he has to keep them as calm as possible.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Come on Casey pick up!” Severide yells at his phone, he’d been trying to call Casey since they pulled out of 51 and he was getting worried. Holding the phone to his ear Kelly was praying to anyone that was listening, he’s about to hang up and try again when the call finally goes through and he hears a familiar voice.

“Severide.” He coughs through the phone.

“Casey! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Listen, the fire’s fully involved on the second floor and the third is catching, it’s spreading fast. I don’t know where it started but it’s moving through the walls.” He says quickly before having to stop, a coughing fit overtaking him.

“Casey, are you still inside?” Severide asks panic creeping into his voice.

“Yeah, fourth floor. The apartment two floors directly above mine. Mother and daughter, daughter’s in a wheelchair. Kelly, tell Parker the windows are Lexan.”

“Okay sit tight Matt, we’re only a block out.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Casey hadn’t even realised he’d picked up his phone until they got back to the apartment and Severide called him. Even though the guys were a block out it would take time to raise the aerial and Casey was starting to feel lightheaded already, breathing getting a little harder as smoke rises through the building. He’d sat Anna and Sophie by the windows and started thinking, he needed to do something but had none of his gear, fortunately he is like MacGyver when it comes to improvising.

Heading for the kitchen he grabs two dish towels and checking the cupboards he finds baking soda, pouring half into each towel he wraps them up and ties the ends. Giving one to Anna and one to Sophie he tells them.

“Here, breathe through this, it’ll help.”

Going over to the windows Casey sees the trucks pulling up. Seeing Severide jump out of the squad, pointing, shouting and giving orders, it settles him, it felt like he could breathe easier because he knew everything would be okay. Looking at the glass he realises something, this isn’t security glass, the top floor must be standard window glass and that means he can break it.

Searching for something heavy to break the window, a coughing fit takes over his body and he drops down low in search of cleaner air. Sophie calls his name and he crawls over to her.

“It’s okay sweetie. My friend Kelly, he’s here now and he’ll get us out.” He tries to reassure her, his voice hoarse, eyes and nose burning from the smoke. Another coughing fit racks his body when the window behind him shatters.

“Matt!” Severide yells as he climbs through the window.

“Kelly!” He calls back and the man rushes over to them.

Kneeling down beside them Kelly says. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

Severide picks up the girl, Casey ushering the mom over to the window as Kelly passes Sophie off to a firefighter waiting on the aerial. Casey’s struggling to breathe, his body gasping for oxygen when Severide’s mask is suddenly held against his face. The expression ‘a breath of fresh air’ takes on a whole new meaning as Casey sucks the o2 into his lungs. It only feels like a few seconds before Severide returns, grabbing his shoulder and saying.

“Come on, your turn!”

Taking the mask back Severide climbs out the window first so he can guide Casey back down the aerial. This might be his job too but Casey’s taken in a lot of smoke.

Getting back on the ground Severide pulls Casey in for a man hug. “Christ, you had me worried there.” Before Casey can say anything, someone calls for Severide and he spots the girls over at one of the ambo’s. Rushing over to check they’re okay, Anna throws her arms around him.

“Thank you so much, Matt. If you hadn’t come back for us.” She cries, unable to finish that sentence.

“It’s okay. It’s all gonna be okay.” He soothes, rubbing her back. “You’re safe now and these guys are gonna get you to Med to get checked out.” He adds looking at the familiar faces of first shift’s paramedics.

Closing the doors behind them Casey turns to the medic asking. “They’re gonna be okay, right?”

“Some smoke inhalation, Med will probably wanna keep them overnight but yeah. They should be fine.”

“Thanks, Reddick.” Casey says before coughing again.

“Just make sure you get your own ass to Med. Don’t make me come looking for you.”

“I’ll drag him there myself if I have to.” Boden’s voice booms from them.

“Chief? What are –” Before Casey can finish his sentence he’s bent over and gasping for breath again.

A hand on his back and one on his shoulder, Boden leads him over to an ambo and sits him down on the back step, an o2 mask being put over his nose and mouth and a blanket thrown around him.

“Alright, breathe Casey. Slow, deep breaths.”

Looking up he sees a familiar face. “Rafferty. It’s been a while.”

“Stop talking.” She scolds, unzipping the hoodie he’d thrown on so she can listen to his chest. “Take a breath.” She instructs.

“How is he?” Boden asks.

“He took in a lot of smoke, needs to be checked out at Med.”

“I’m right here, you know.” Casey says as they talk over him.

“Fire’s out, Chief.” Severide says walking over to them. “Your apartment Casey…” He trials off.

Matt groans, pulling the mask off to ask. “Any idea what started it?”

Rafferty puts the mask back on, scolding him again. “Stop talking.”

“Nothing obvious I could see but OFI will want to take a look.”

Severide gets back to overhaul, Rafferty takes a reluctant Casey to Med and Boden follows them in his car.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Boden paces the waiting room, even though he knows Casey’s in no serious danger it still gives him a sick feeling waiting around for news on one of his people. Maggie, the charge nurse at Med eventually comes to tell him.

“Matt is stable but his CO levels are still a little high so they’ll be keeping him on o2 and under observation overnight. You can go back and see him, five minutes.”

Knowing that Maggie is the Connie of Med, he knows she’s serious about the five minutes.

“Chief, you didn’t have to stay.” Casey says when he sees his boss walk into the room.

Boden gives him a look that says ‘stop being stupid’ before he asks. “How you feeling?”

“Better, thanks. Chief, go home. I’m stuck here for the night but if you leave now you can still get some sleep before shift.”

“All right, rest up and don’t worry about shift. I got you covered. Casey, if there’s anything you need, anything, just ask.”

“Thanks, Chief.”


	2. Day one - (On Shift)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still loosely following the episode but after this it's all new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No past relationship between Kidd and Severide but I do love them on the show and I'm hoping they don't break up again. In this it's a similar relationship to Shay just because you know Severide needs someone to knock some sense into him.

At the morning briefing, Chief Boden tells the gang what happened with Casey last night.

“OFI is still on scene doing a thorough investigation but the preliminary indications are that the fire was electrical and most likely an accident. The important thing is that everyone is okay. Casey had some smoke inhalation and they kept him overnight at Med but he should be released this afternoon.” The room breathes a sigh of relief and Boden continues. “I’ll keep you updated with any new information that comes to me. I know we all wanna help but we have a job to do and I expect you to stay focused on that. Okay. Let’s go.”

Chief finishes in his usual way but before everyone leaves Herrmann stands up with the boot, getting their attention.

“Uh, Chief. Can I?”

“Yes.”

“Casey lost everything last night. He’s got insurance but that’s gonna be months of red tape, so let’s kick in.”

Everyone agrees, this is what they do for each other, passing by Herrmann on the way out the room they all toss in whatever cash they’ve got on them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later in the day, Severide’s leaving his office when he sees Casey heading for the locker room wearing the same smoke stained clothes as last night. Following him in Severide asks.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I need a shower and a change of clothes.” Casey coughs.

“Did Med clear you or did you bust out?” Severide jokes, knowing how stubborn Casey is and how much he hates hospitals.

“They cleared me, I’m fine. I just really want a shower now.”

“You hear anything from OFI yet?”

“Just that it looks like an accident. They won’t let me into my apartment.” Casey says tossing clothes onto the bench with more force than necessary.

“Well I can lend you some stuff if you want. Whatever you need.”

“Thanks. What I want is to get back into that apartment and have a look around. Maybe help out with the investigation.”

“You gotta let OFI handle this. Besides, you got enough to worry about.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

Fishing his keys out of his pocket Severide tosses them over. “Here. Go to my place, get some sleep. That’s your new home as long as you need it.”

“You sure?” Casey asks looking at the keys in his hand.

“Yeah, don’t insult me.”

“You know you look like hell.”

“Yeah? Well, double shift and so do you by the way.”

**_Dispatch: Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61, vehicle accident, Madison and Ogden._ **

With that, Casey heads for the showers and Severide heads for the squad.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Getting back from the call there’s a guy waiting on the app floor for Severide.

“Hey, Bradley Boyd. We spoke on the phone.” He says holding his hand out.

“Yeah, sure.” Severide replies shaking the offered hand.

“Look I know you’re still on the fence about taking the job. So I figured I’d swing by, see if I could set the hook.” He says unlocking his iPad and handing it over, as Kelly flips through the photos Boyd tells him. “That is a ’51 Chris-Craft Special Runabout. One owner, been under a dusty tarp for decades.”

“Wow. Where’d you find it?”

“Came up at auction. I was hoping we could have this sea-worthy by summer.”

“I’d wanna take a closer look at it but yeah, I don’t see why not.”

“Yeah? Well, Greg Rogers at Marina Outfitters. I said, give me your best recommendation for a restorer, he wrote down your name, two seconds flat.”

“Greg’s a good guy and this is a beautiful boat.”

“It’s a big job, I know and I realise it’s gonna take up a lot of your time. But you seem like the kind of guy that’ll take your time and do it right and –”

“You know what? I’m in.”

“Great. Great. Let me give you the address.”

Herrmann walks out onto the app floor carrying the boot and shouting to the guys. “Hey, who didn’t put it yet?”

“What’s this?” Boyd asks.

“Oh, our Captain had a bit of a tragedy last night, so were pitching in.” Herrmann explains.

“Hey, hold up.” Boyd calls back a retreating Herrmann, pulling out his cash he drops a couple hundred bucks in the boot.

Counting the cash, Herrmann’s surprised but grateful, Casey really means a lot to all of them. “Wow. That, uh, that’s mighty nice of you.”

“Glad I could help. Kelly, come by anytime to see the boat.”

“All right.” They shake hands again and Boyd leaves.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Walking back to his office Severide’s wondering if Casey’s still here or if he went back to his place. Passing the other man’s office his question is answered because there’s Casey sleeping soundly in his bunk. Severide can’t help it, he just gets pulled in to watching the man sleep, he looks so peaceful, even with everything that’s happened. His hair still looks a little damp from the shower, the afternoon sun coming through the windows is casting him in this warm orange light and he knows the blue of that mans eyes as if they were his own. He’s no idea how long he’s standing there before Kidd appears from nowhere, grabbing his arm, marching him into his own office and closing the door behind them.

“Kelly, what the hell are you doing?” She demands.

“What?”

“Seriously, telling Casey he can stay with you. You’re playing with fire.”

“Isn’t that kind of what we do?” Kelly smirks and Kidd just smacks him upside the head.

“I’m serious Severide. Do you really think this is a good idea?”

“We’ve lived together before, he’s a friend and the man just lost everything he owns. How is that a bad idea?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“Do I?”

“You like him Kelly. As more than just a friend.” Kelly’s shoulders slump and he sits down on the edge of his bunk.

“How’d you know?” He asks defeated.

“Because I’m not blind.” Kidd says sitting next to him.

“Casey needs a place to crash yes but he also needs a friend right now and you have a crush on him worthy of a romance novel.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Kelly, I’ve seen you regularly undress him with your eyes. Admit it or I’ll get him to move in with me instead.” Kidd was staying in Herrmann’s apartment but somehow he still didn’t doubt that she could pull it off.

“Okay. I like him, I like him a lot but he doesn’t see me that way and that’s fine. Casey needs a place to stay and honestly it’s been kind of lonely, living alone again.”

Kidd pulls him into a hug. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re wrong about how Casey sees you. Come on, let’s get some lunch.”

“Yeah, I’m hungry.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Waking up in his bunk it takes Matt a minute to remember what happened and why he’s asleep at work in the middle of the day. Groaning he moves to sit up and stretch out his back when his stomach growls and he realises he can’t remember the last time he ate.

Headed for the common room he almost walks straight into a slightly frazzled looking Cindy carrying four large bags.

“Oh. There you are you poor thing.”

“Cindy. Let me give you a hand.” He says taking the bags and carrying them into the room. “Psst.” He gets Herrmann’s attention.

“Oh, hey, honey.” He says jumping out of his seat to hug his wife. “Thanks honey.”

“What is all this?” Casey asks putting the bags down on the table.

“It’s for you.” Cindy says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Ah, Cindy...”

“It’s just the basics. Some clothes, toothbrush, razor.”

“This must’ve cost a fortune.” Casey says, not necessarily surprised but truly touched that they did this for him.

“Ah don’t worry about that. Some rich buddy of Severide’s dropped a fistful of C-notes in the boot.” Herrmann assures him.

“What, are you passing the boot? You didn’t have to do that.” Casey swats at him with a pair of folded up jeans.

“Ah, come Casey. Of course we’re gonna do that.”

“Well – I don’t – I don’t know what to say. You guys are the best. Come here.” He pulls Cindy in for a hug.

“We got your back brother.” Herrmann adds, patting him on the shoulder and Matt’s stomach growls again.

“When was the last time you ate?” Cindy asks in full mom mode.

“A while ago.”

“Sit down, I’m making you a sandwich.”

“Cindy, you don’t have to. You’ve done too much already.”

Ignoring him, Cindy shushes Matt and points at the table. “Sit, it won’t take a moment.”

Herrmann gives him and look and says. “You know there’s no point in arguing with this woman.”

“True.” Casey says going back to looking through the bags of his new stuff.

“Oh, Matt, in one of those bags, I made you your favourites.” Cindy says from the kitchen.

“Cindy Herrmann brownies?” Casey says way too excited, quickly checking the bags until he finds the Tupperware box full of the best brownies you’ve ever had in your life. Grabbing the box he sits down at the table not caring even a little bit that he’s eating dessert before a meal.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Casey’s feeling a little better now that he’s had something to eat but the reality of all the crap he’s gonna have to deal with, insurance, replacing important stuff like car keys and banks cards, not to mention finding a new place to live is beginning to set in. He needed to get out of here, sitting around the house all day and not working sounded like torture and there’s a familiar itch already building beneath his skin. Casey’s usual way of dealing with stress, you could argue whether it was healthy or not but right now he didn’t care. Pulling out his phone and thanking god he still had it, he dials a familiar number.

Looking around the house for Casey, there’s no sign so Severide asks in the common room.

“Hey, anyone seen Casey?”

“He just left, you might still be able to catch him.” Herrmann tells him.

Going out to the app floor he sees Casey putting some bags in the trunk of a car and a guy he doesn’t recognise closing it before pulling Casey in for a kiss. He’s a little taller than Casey, dark hair, stubble and seriously muscled. Looks like Casey’s handling stress in his usual way. Seeing Casey drive off with some guy and knowing what they were gonna be doing, put knots in his stomach. He didn’t like it but what could he do about it. It wasn’t exactly his place to say anything, Casey’s a grown man, he can make whatever stupid decisions he wants.


	3. Day two - (Off Shift 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severide finds out who picked Casey up from 51 and they put in an appearance at Molly's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For now chapters will vary in length just depending on how much happens in a day. If a chapters short I'll post two at a time.

Getting home from shift Severide finds the apartment empty ‘guess he spent the night’ he thinks bitterly about the guy who picked Casey up from the firehouse. Severide has breakfast and not wanting to sit around all day brooding and waiting for Casey he figures he’ll go check out that boat. Putting on his jacket the front door opens and in walks Casey, his hair a mess and looking like he hasn’t slept.

“Fun night?” Severide asks with an edge to it.

“Better than staring at the walls and feeling sorry for myself.” Casey comes back with putting his bags on the floor. “I really appreciate this Kelly, you letting me stay here.”

“You’d do the same for me, man.” Kelly brushes off, an awkward silence and building tension between them, Casey tries to break through it asking.

“You going out?”

“Yeah, this guy wants me to restore his boat. I was gonna go take a look but I can stay if you want some company.”

“No, no you go do your thing. I’m gonna get some sleep.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kelly gets the job and picks up some of the supplies he’s gonna need but he doesn’t want to go home and see Casey yet, so he hits the gym instead. When he finally does get home, Matt’s leaning over the kitchen counter drinking coffee, only wearing pyjama bottoms and looking like he just got up.

“How was the boat?” Casey asks.

“Boat’s a beauty but it’s gonna take some serious work.”

Casey hums in acknowledgement. “I thought you weren’t restoring boats anymore.”

“Ah, idle hands you know. Anyway I’ve been looking for a good project for a while and I don’t wanna buy a boat myself.”

“Fair enough. You want coffee?”

“Yeah, why not. You got plans for tonight?” He asks wondering if Casey was gonna see that guy again and who he was, Severide takes a seat at the breakfast bar as Casey pours him a coffee.

“Uh, I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Why don’t we go grab some food and hit up Molly’s. Unless you’re seeing that guy again.” He can’t help but ask he needs to know who that guy was.

“Who?” Casey asks confused.

“The guy who picked you up from 51.”

“Oh, Josh. No, he’s just a friend. Not even really that, more of a hook up. I don’t know about Molly’s. I’m not really in the mood.”

“Come on, we could get some burgers then head over to Molly’s. Get you good and drunk.” Matt still looks hesitant so Kelly pushes. “Beats staring at the walls.” He quotes Casey back to himself and they both share a laugh.

“You may have a point. All right give me a minute to get dressed.” Casey finishes off his coffee before heading for his room and as he walks away Severide has to bite his tongue when he sees the fingertip bruises on Matt’s hip, fighting the urge to throw his coffee mug at the wall.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Severide was right, when they walk into Molly’s everyone is glad to see Casey. Taking a seat at the bar Herrmann puts a beer in front of Casey saying.

“On the house, Captain.”

“Thanks Herrmann.” Half of 51 is hovering around him and it makes Casey feel a little uncomfortable. “All right everyone listen up. I am fine and I am not here to dwell. I’m here to some drinking and have some fun, anyone care to join me?”

The guys erupt in cheers, joining him at the bar they crowd around him, patting him on the back and generally being silly but it makes him laugh and that’s what they were aiming for.

Casey doesn’t pay for a drink all night, as soon as he finishes one drink a fresh one appears in front of him and he really appreciates the gesture, although that may change come the morning. For now he’s just enjoying talking and laughing with his family, when Casey laughs so hard he falls off a bar stool they decide it might be time to get him home. They help Kelly pick the still laughing man up off the floor and get them both into a cab.

His arm around Casey’s waist and Casey’s arm around his neck Severide practically carries the man into his room and lays him down on the bed. Trying to help him get his jacket off, Severide gets all the co-operation of a toddler before Casey passes out. Chuckling to himself, Severide takes Casey’s shoes off before freeing the covers from under Matt and covering the man up.

“Goodnight, buddy.” He says leaving the room.

“You’re a good friend, Kelly.” He hears Matt slur.

‘Friend’ he thinks. Kidd was wrong, that’s all he was to Casey and all he’d ever be and that hurt him more than he would ever admit to anyone, even himself. Not wanting to think about this anymore Kelly goes to bed himself and just hopes that sleep comes quickly.


	4. Day three - (Off Shift 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey's hungover, Severide cooks and...

Before he leaves to work go work on the boat, Severide ducks into Casey’s room to check on him and can’t help but laugh at what he finds. Casey is star fished in the middle, one arm hanging off the bed, snoring and drooling into his pillow, dead to the world. Taking a quick picture on his phone for future bribery purposes of course, he leaves for the boat.

Spending all day at the boat Kelly just needs some space and time to think away from Matt and when all you’re doing is scraping crud off a boat, there’s plenty of time to think. He really needed to cool it with Matt, he’s not his boyfriend and he never will be. Kelly knows he needs to accept that and move on, Matt needs a friend right now and if he couldn’t get past this, then them living together is never going to work.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Coming home he finds Matt asleep on the couch wearing his favourite hoodie, he looks so cute with the hood pulled up all snuggled in and fast asleep, ‘stop it’ he mentally scolds himself and moves to cover him up with the blanket from the back of the couch. That wasn’t weird, he’s just a good friend and Casey looks a little cold is all, pulling the blanket over him, Matt wakes up.

“Kelly?” He says sleepily, wiping his eyes. “What time is it?”

“A little after six.”

“Urgh, I don’t know why I’m so tired.” Matt groans, moving to sit up.

“You’re kidding, right?” Kelly says going over to the kitchen and emptying the grocery bags he’d brought home with him. “Your life got upended a few days ago and you drank for the record last night.”

“Well, when you put it like that.” Matt groans laying down again and pulling the blanket back over himself. They share a laugh and Casey asks. “How was the boat? I’m guessing that’s where you were.”

“Made a good start. Hey, I’m guessing you don’t wanna go out tonight.”

“Not even a little, why?” Matt asks from his nest on the couch.

“Well, I thought I’d cook. I picked up some supplies on my way back.”

“Cook? You? You can’t cook.”

“That’s not true. There’s one thing I can cook perfectly.”

“Son of a bitch, you’re making steak, baked potato and green beans.”

“You know it. It’s gonna take a while, if you wanna sack out again.”

“I’m telling you now Kelly, you’re never getting rid of me.” Matt yawns, rolling over on the couch.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A few beers and a good meal with a friend was exactly what Casey needed tonight, the conversation flowed between them easy as ever and Matt couldn’t quite figure out why there had been some, he hesitates to say tension but definitely stilted moments between them the last few days.

“So what’d you do today?” Severide asks.

“Ah, mostly slept but I started figuring out what stuff I gotta get done, insurance and the like.” Casey says reaching for the notepad on the coffee table to show Kelly the list he’d started.

“Damn, sucks being a responsible adult doesn’t it.” He says reading over the list.

“You’re telling me. Kelly, I really appreciate this you know. Letting me stay here, I promise it’s temporary and I’ll start looking for a new place soon.”

“Matt, you don’t have to thank me every day. I already told you, you can stay as long as you want. No rush, take your time, you’ve been through a lot of change in a short time. Just let it settle and anyway, it’s nice having you around.”

“You’ve hardly been here.” Matt laughs reaching for his beer. He can’t help but notice how Kelly seems to be tracking his every movement, the mans barely taken his eyes off him since they sat down. Kelly’s eyes locked onto him he finally asks. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing. You just look kinda cute all bundled up in my hoodie.” Kelly admits, scratching the back of his neck, a nervous tick of his.

“Aw, you wishing I was one of your hook ups?” Matt jokes.

“I wouldn’t want you to be anyone else, Case.” Kelly says with sincerity that makes him just a little uncomfortable and at the same time makes a blush creep up his neck. The way Kelly’s looking at him like he’s the only person in the world.

“Yeah, well I was a cold and you said I could borrow stuff.” Matt says, not able to look Kelly in the eye anymore and trying to steer them away from that moment, whatever it was because it couldn’t be what it sounded like, Kelly didn’t think of him like that. Did he? Now of course Cindy had gotten him a sweater, it was winter after all but he put Kelly’s on because he woke up to Kelly gone and an empty apartment, the hoodie smelt like Kelly and it made him feel comfortable, safe.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A few more beers and tv that neither of them were really paying attention to anyway. The two men find themselves sitting pressed up against each other despite the large size of the couch. Kelly moves to rest his arm on the back of the couch, trying to make a little space between them without actually moving away but then realises he just put his arm around Casey and that’s not what friends do. Yanking his arm back he manages to knock into Casey who’s beer spills all over his chest.

“Oh, crap. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Kelly. I’ll just take it off.” Matt says slipping the hoodie off to reveal he wasn’t wearing a shirt underneath it.

Kelly gulps at the sight, Matt really keeps himself in shape, not bulky but definitely athletic, not necessarily defined but you could still see the muscles ripple as he moved.

“See something you like?” Matt asks with a smirk, the beer definitely loosening him up a little.

Snapping out of it, Kelly didn’t realise he was staring and now he can’t think of anything to say. “No – ah, well, yeah, but no – not like…” He stutters suddenly realising just how close they were, he could feel the warmth radiating from the man’s body and before he realises it their lips are mere inches apart.

Something between them breaks, their lips crashing together, Kelly pulls Matt in close running his hands over every inch of exposed skin he can get at. Sitting next to each other the angles a little awkward and Kelly’s genuinely not sure if he moves Matt or Matt moves himself to straddle Kelly. The way Matt kisses him, the desperation he can feel coming from the man like he doesn’t just want this he needs it, like Kelly is the only thing giving him oxygen. There’s nothing gently about they’re doing Matt’s hand on his neck pulling him in close, his own hands had slid down Matt’s sides to rest on his hips, their tongues battling for dominance in a fierce kiss.

Matt rolls his hips and Kelly can’t help the groan that’s ripped out of him, their mouths finally separating Matt moves to attack his neck, moaning himself when Kelly tightens his grip on the man’s hips and pulls them together. Kelly can feel how hard Matt is through the mans sweatpants and he can’t believe that this is finally happening.

Totally lost in the moment, Matt can feel the strong grip on his hips, the stubble against his cheek, the hard dick beneath him that he wants so bad. Reaching for the mans belt it hits him like a freight train, it’s Kelly. Kelly’s hands and tongue and dick he can feel. Oh shit, what has he done, he just screwed everything up.

Matt’s reaching for his belt when it’s like an electric current runs through his body and he snaps backwards. Jerking back, he puts his hands on Kelly’s shoulders forcing space between them.

“I’m so sorry.” Matt breathes.

“What’s wrong?” Kelly asks not sure what just happened.

“This, this is wrong. I’m sorry.” Matt says standing up and grabbing the hoodie to hold in front of himself. Backing out of the room Matt says. “I’m going to bed. I’m really sorry, Kelly.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Left sitting on the couch alone, Kelly has no idea what just happened, confused and still hard he’s not sure what to do now. Should he go after Matt? Try to talk to him? Hearing Matt’s bedroom door close feels like the end of it, an opportunity missed, what could have been but it would have been wrong to take advantage of Matt. As much as he’d never admit it the man was in a vulnerable place right now. He could over think all of this tomorrow but right now he had a problem restricting his jeans, deciding to take a shower he hopes if he ignores it, it will just go away on its own but it won’t. Kelly can’t stop picturing Matt straddling him, feeling how tight he clung to him and how hard he was against him, hearing the way he moaned when Kelly gripped his hips and pulled them together. He can’t help it, letting his hand drift to where he wants it and closing his eyes, he imagines it’s Matt’s hand.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Closing his bedroom door and leaning against it, Matt bangs his head a couple of times. “You idiot.” He says to himself. Of all the people he could have done that with he had to pick Kelly. They had a complicated friendship at best and he may have just ruined it forever, all because he was a horny idiot. Well done, he thinks to himself as he drops onto his bed. Running a finger over his bottom lip, it’s ever so slightly swollen and he moans at the memory of Kelly’s hands running over his chest and back, the way he gripped his hips. What he did was wrong, throwing himself at Kelly like that, he was just reacting to the situation, Matt was sure of it because Kelly didn’t think of him like that. Sliding a hand down his stomach and into his pants Matt isn’t surprised to find he’s still hard, taking hold of himself he can’t help but imagine it’s Kelly’s hand and what they could have done no matter how wrong he knows it is.


	5. Day four (On Shift)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward morning, Casey gets a call from OFI and Kidd talks to Severide.

Rolling over to turn off his alarm Casey lets out a groan, shift day, there’s no way he can avoid Severide after what he did last night and the worst part, he hasn’t even replaced his car keys yet so they’re gonna have to drive in together. Trapped in a car with a guy whose friendship he may have just lost forever and then at the house together for 24 hours, what could go wrong? Getting out of bed Casey’s thankful that the loft has two bathroom’s an en-suite in Kelly’s room and a main one, which means he can take a shower and delay seeing the other man for as long as possible.

Severide’s pacing in the kitchen, he’d already drank two cups of coffee waiting for Casey to come out of his room. He had no idea what to say, should they talk about last night or ignore it? The way Matt had apologised before he bolted out of the room, it’s like he thought he’d done something unforgivable. Checking the time, he throws the last of the coffee in his mug into a to go cup, starting to worry they were gonna be late when Matt walks into the room.

“Morning.” Severide offers.

“Morning, you see where I left my charger?” Casey says, avoiding him to look around the living room instead.

Clearing his throat to get Casey’s attention, Severide holds up the cable he’s looking for.

“Thanks.” Matt says reaching for the cable but Kelly keeps hold of it.

“About last night –” He starts but Casey stops him before he can really say anything.

“Kelly, before you say anything. I’m sorry, I really am.” Casey groans scrubbing his face. “Ah, I always do this. I get stressed and I use sex to deal with it. It’s stupid.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, Case and it doesn’t sound stupid. Sounds healthier than what I do, drink too much and push everyone away.”

“Regardless, we’re really close again and I don’t wanna screw that up. After Andy when we were fighting, that was one of the worst times of my life. I don’t wanna screw this up just because I’m not thinking clearly. Can we just forget it ever happened?” Matt confesses looking anywhere but directly at Severide.

Kelly takes a minute to think before he says anything. “Matt, we’re never gonna be like it was before and last night, you don’t have to worry about that. If you want to forget it, it’s forgotten.” He lies, Kelly would never forget that kiss and he’d do anything for another one but he had to respect the mans wishes.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The drive to 51 is a little tense but not as bad as Casey was imagining, both men going their separate ways once they arrive. Casey was sure there’d be a stack of paperwork waiting for him from last shift and he wasn’t wrong, that should keep him busy for most of the day at least, he thinks as he dumps his stuff in his locker. However breakfast comes before paperwork, Casey barely has his hand on a plate before the bells go off with the first call of the day.

**_Dispatch: Truck 81, Engine 51, Squad 3, Ambulance 61. Vehicle accident, intersection of North State and Madison._ **

It’s a good call, bus crashed into a bus shelter, squad and truck both getting a great save and it didn’t look like there’d be one permanent injury in the mix. Not bad for not having had breakfast or even coffee yet Matt thinks with a spring in his step.

Pouring himself a cup of coffee, Kelly comes beside him and holds out his mug.

“You mind?”

“Sure.” Casey says filling both mugs. 

“That’s gotta make you feel more back to normal. Good call, solid save.”

“Yeah, it does.” He says with a genuine smile. “And so does the enormous stack of paperwork on my desk.” Casey jokes.

“I hear that.” Severide laughs, Casey heading to his office. Speaking of paperwork, he had a stack on his desk waiting for him too.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Everyone’s sat down to lunch and Casey’s starting to feel things get back to normal. Feeling the nervous energy that makes him pace around and the itch under his skin that turns him into a horny teenager beginning to dull down and relax. But of course nothing could be that simple and one phone call can make him wanna go for a five mile run and jump into bed with the next guy he sees.

“Hello.” Casey answers his phone.

“Captain Van Meter.” He says and the common room quietens down, knowing he’s from OFI and this would be about the fire. Matt listens for a while before saying.

“Yeah, thanks for the update.” Ending the call Casey puffs out a long breath.

“What’d he say?” Boden asks from the head of the table.

“Officially ruled an accident. Apartment below mine, left a space heater on, electrical fire, got into the walls and spread fast.”

“Anyone hurt?” Herrmann asks.

“No, the guy, he uh – he’s a bartender, works nights and just forgot to turn it off before he left. I can get back into the apartment tomorrow but Van Meter says there’s not much left.”

“I’m real sorry, Casey.” Kidd says.

“Ah, it is what is. I’ll stop by after shift, see if there’s anything salvageable.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Severide’s been hovering around Casey since he got that phone call at lunch and it hasn’t escaped Kidd’s attention. Now she could leave them be and let them work it out themselves but neither man is fluent in communication and well, she’s just that nosy. Knowing this place has ears everywhere, Kidd needs to get him alone and it’s almost too easy to corner Severide in his office.

“What, now?” Severide asks as she closes the door behind herself.

“I’m just checking in. You’ve been hovering over Casey since the phone call. How’d you think he’s really doing?”

“I think – he’s dealing with it his way. Sex and denial.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right. What about you?”

“What about me what?”

“How are you coping? Living with Casey.”

Severide, groans and stumbles over his words trying to find the right thing to say. “I, uh – I don’t know. It’s complicated and we got a lot history but I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“Okay, that’s fine just know that I’m here if you do. You wanna go grab a beer at Molly’s and talk about anything else or wanna talk it out. I’m here.”

“Thanks Stella, I appreciate it.”


	6. Day five - (Off Shift 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey goes back to his apartment and hits up Molly's for some distraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started as Casey whump but now I’m torturing Severide too. Sorry, not sorry.

Shift’s over and everyone’s heading out, Casey’s at his locker, putting his jacket on when Severide comes over to him asking.

“Hey, you need a ride to your apartment?”

“No, Herrmann’s gonna give me a ride. He’s going to Molly’s for inventory or a delivery or something so he’s going that way anyway.”

“Okay, well I guess I’ll see you at home then. I’m gonna head over to the –”

“Boat.” Casey finishes for him and they share a chuckle. “You’re going from shift to the boat and back again. Who are you and what have you done with Kelly Severide?”

“Just keeping busy.” Severide shrugs it off awkwardly, turning to leave he calls back. “See you at home.”

Letting out a deep breath, ‘so much for forgetting about last night’ Casey thinks, convinced he’d ruined everything. Maybe he should look for a new apartment, Brett had already offered to help him find a place.

“You ready to go Casey?” Herrmann asks ducking into the room.

“Yeah, lets go.” He says slamming his locker closed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Walking into his apartment for the first time since the fire, the room’s pitch black, the wiring burnt out Casey has to use the torch on his phone to find the lights OFI had left for him. Lighting up the living room feels like a punch to the gut. Everything’s gone, holes in the walls from where the fire burnt through, debris all over the floor and everything’s charred a familiar black. He takes a moment to just walk through the apartment, the place that was his home for the last four years, he can’t help but remember all that had happened inside these walls.

Reaching the kitchen, he’s not even gonna bother trying to save any of this stuff, cutlery, pots and pans didn’t really seem important right now. Looking at the glass front of one of the cabinets he sees the spider web patterns created by the heat of the fire, the smoke that had stained the glass, it was kind of beautiful actually. It made him angry and he wanted to destroy it but at the same time he felt numb, reaching up he touches the glass with a single fingertip and it shatters into tiny pieces. Falling to the ground, the pieces are so small it’s almost like it had returned to the sand it originally was. And yet he feels nothing, just numb, no satisfaction, no more anger, he just wants to get out of here. Casey goes through the house as fast as possible, clinical, treating it like an overhaul he’s done a thousand times before. Tossing anything salvageable into a cardboard box, he doesn’t need more than one. Closing the apartment door behind him and this time he doesn’t look back. All Casey wants now is a drink and distraction.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Coming home from the boat Kelly’s exhausted but he could use a few drinks at Molly’s to unwind, Matt probably could too after going to the apartment. A few feet from the front door, Kelly fishes his keys out of his pocket when the door opens and a guy he doesn’t recognise walks out of his apartment. The guy acknowledges him with a ‘what’s up’ head nod, leaving the door open for Kelly, he heads for the elevator and Kelly goes inside.

His back to Severide, Casey’s in the kitchen pouring himself a coffee and wearing nothing but a towel around his hips, hair still wet from a shower.

“Another friend?” Kelly asks.

“Jesus Christ!” Matt shouts, spinning around he nearly throws coffee everywhere. “Kelly, you scared the crap out of me.”

“Sorry.” Kelly chuckles until his eyes land on a single cardboard box on the dining table. Dumping his bag Kelly walks over to look inside. “Shit. Is that all that’s left?”

“That’s it.” Matt says like it’s nothing. “I’d been meaning to throw some crap out but this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.” His voice sounding hollow to Kelly’s ears and that worried him.

“If you wanna talk about anything, I’m here. We could grab a cigar, head up to the roof.” Kelly offers.

“I appreciate that but I’m just gonna ignore it for now. Stash the box in the closet or something.”

“That sounds healthy.” Kelly tries to joke.

“You’re one to talk.” Matt snaps back, his frown quickly turning to a cheeky smirk but Kelly knows it’s fake.

“Fair enough.” Kelly admits, holding his hands up in defeat.

“You coming to Molly’s tonight?” Matt asks checking his phone.

“Uh, no, I’m beat. I gotta get some sleep.” He lies scratching the back of his neck. Kelly could see the tension and restless energy still coursing through Matt’s body and he didn’t think he could sit there and watch him flirt with and pick up some random guy.

“Suit yourself.” Matt says heading to his room to get dressed.

“Hey Case.” Matt turns back hearing his nickname. “Just don’t get as drunk as the last time you were at Molly’s.

Casey just laughs. “I won’t mom. I don’t think I can take another hangover like that so soon anyway.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It’s the early hours of the morning when a loud noise wakes Kelly up, it’s takes him a second to properly wake up before he realises what that sound is.

“Perfect.” Kelly says to the empty room.

Casey had a good time a Molly’s then and it sounds like he brought the party home with him. Why, why did they have to share an adjoining wall. Holding a pillow over his head to block out the sounds of sex, Kelly groans into his mattress, this couldn’t be happening right now. Even with the noise muffled he could feel the vibrations from the headboard hitting the wall, closing his eyes he tries to block it out but his subconscious has other ideas apparently.

The rhythm from the banging tells him their pace and suddenly he’s picturing Matt, what he must look like right now. Muscles rippling, face contorted with pleasure, eyes rolling back in his head, that sheen of sweat that seamed to make a body glisten. Is he on top or bottom? Kelly’s known Matt long enough to know he’s a bottom but the position, was he on his back, all fours, riding? Kelly hears Matt moan but he’s not sure if it was real or in his head and he finds himself listening intently. This was so wrong but so hot and he was so hard right now.

What’s he supposed to do? Stick his head in the sand and pretend he can’t hear anything or would it be so wrong to close his eyes and pretend it was him next door with Matt? Either way he wasn’t sure how he would look Matt in the eye tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did Severide do? You decide.


	7. Day six - (Off Shift 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An enormous chapter that was an enormous pain in the ass to write. Let me know if it was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bitch! I can’t tell you how many versions of this I wrote because I’ve lost count but as per usual a comment from Pall saved the day and the story. So much love for Pall.

His alarm going off early, Kelly gets the hell out of the apartment as fast as possible, he couldn’t handle being so close to Matt right now and he definitely didn’t want to see who he was with last night. Getting to the boat it was like his refuge, a place he could go to and switch off his mind, not have to think about Matt or how much it hurt to see him with other guys. He could work on the boat his mind on auto-pilot, it was calming, kind of like meditation but today he just couldn’t switch off the voice in the back of his head.

The longer he was there the more frustrated he got and starting silly making mistakes on the boat. The more mistakes he made the angrier he got at Matt, he had no idea what he was doing to him, parading his hook ups in front of him, walking around the apartment half naked, waking him up in the middle of the night. When he gets so mad he punches a solid brick wall, Kelly decides it’s time to call it a night and get his ass to a bar, anywhere but Molly’s, he just wants to be alone right now.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Matt had a busy day today, first he had to kick out last nights mistake. Jack? Jake? Mark? Like it mattered, he was just a distraction but today he had to be an adult and finally deal with the fallout from the fire. He picked up the replacement car keys so he could finally drive, which was way more convenient. He had a meeting at the bank to explain what happened, change his address and get new cards, he’d been using the contactless pay on his phone, thank god for that. Had to stop by OFI, picked up the official report for the insurance company and finally he met up for coffee with Cruz’s girlfriend Chloe. She was helping him with the inventory list for the insurance company.

Matt couldn’t count how many house fires he’d responded to but he’d never had to deal with anything beyond the overhaul. Insurance is a pain in the ass if you have it, financially crippling if you don’t but it’s more than that. It’s a home. You lose, your home, all the memories, all the crap you’d collected and in just a few minutes, it’s gone. He thinks to himself.

Getting back to the apartment he really hopes Severide is there, he was gone this morning when he got up and it looks like he’s still out, Matt thinks closing the apartment door behind him. What the hell was going on with Kelly lately, one minute he’s saying he’s there for him, anything he needs and it feels like he turns around and Kelly’s gone again, running off to the boat. Matt really didn’t want to be alone right now, he’d spent the whole day thinking about how he’d lost everything bar a change of clothes and a single box of charred useless junk and it was weighing a little heavy on him right now.

Scrolling through the contacts on his phone there’s no shortage of guys he could call for a hook up but he didn’t want a hook up and he didn’t want random. He wanted Kelly but Kelly isn’t here. Going to his room he finds the hoodie he’d stolen from Severide but breathing it in it just smells of himself now. Tossing it aside he goes into Kelly’s room and takes a different one out the closet, putting it on and breathing deep. It calms him for now. Grabbing a beer and settling in front of the tv to wait for Severide to come home, he’s pretty sure there’s a Blackhawks game on.

He’s trying so hard to watch the game but something in his mind is telling him to go through the box from his apartment and he doesn’t want to. He knows it’s a bad idea, he was in such a weird headspace when he went through the wreckage Matt can’t even remember what’s in the box but something’s pulling him towards it. It’s like he can feel the presence of the box, even though it’s in another room, hidden in the back of a closet but he can feel it. Something pulling him towards it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kelly walks into the bar not even looking at the name of it and takes a seat at the bar.

“Scotch, neat.” He says to the bartender, not caring that it was rude. A glass is put in front of him and a measure poured. Kelly downs it, the familiar burn a welcome feeling. Putting the glass down he says. “Hit me again.” The bartender hadn’t moved, hadn’t even put the bottle down, she knew what it looked like when someone was trying to drink something away. She pours another measure and opens a tab for the man, call it a hunch but she figured he’d be here a while.

Kelly had switched to beer a while ago and was half-heartedly watching the Blackhawks on the big screen when someone taps him on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, are you a real firefighter?” The voice belongs to pretty blonde thing with blue eyes and legs that went for miles. Kelly hadn’t even realised he was wearing his squad jacket until now.

“Yes, I am.” Thinking about the consequences for just a moment, Kelly asks her. “Can I buy you a drink?”

The next few hours went by in a blur and Kelly finds himself making out with this woman in front of her building. Damn, he needed this, he’d been so distracted by Casey he hadn’t been laid in weeks. Just the thought of Casey pisses him off and Kelly slides his hands from this girls waist down to her ass. She makes this exaggerated ‘ohh’ sound and pulls away, asking him.

“Do you wanna come upstairs.”

The words ‘hell yes’ are on the tip of his tongue when a voice in the back of his head scoffs and says, ‘like father, like son’. Oh shit, he was doing exactly what Benny would do. Get angry, pull away and hurt someone he cares about. No, no, he wasn’t Benny. He would never be Benny. He couldn’t do this, not to Matt. He needed to see him. He needed to talk to him. To tell him he wanted to be so much more than just his friend.

Kelly must have spaced out because she’s looking kind of freaked out and asks.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He says, pulling away from her. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I have to go.” Kelly turns to leave, hailing a cab and jumping in before the girl can say anything.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Getting back to his building, Kelly’s nervous he really hopes Matt’s home because they need to talk about this, he can’t take it anymore and why is the elevator moving so slowly, does it always take this long. Feeling like he’s gonna bust out of his skin Kelly opens their front door and sighs, the lights are off and the whole place is in darkness. Casey must be out with some guy, hanging his jacket up and turning on the lights Kelly almost jumps out of his skin. Matt was there all along, sat in the dark on the couch, hugging his knees to his chest, wearing another one of Kelly’s hoodie with the hood pulled up over his head.

This was not good and Kelly is definitely worried now. Walking over to him Kelly sees the contents of the box of stuff from Matt’s apartment spread over the coffee table and Matt’s just staring at it with this vacant look in his eye. Matt hasn’t moved an inch or acknowledge his presence yet, moving to kneel down in front of him and look him in the eyes he says.

“Matt?” But Kelly gets no response and now he’s moved from worried to freaking out. Putting his hands on Matt’s shoulders he says a little louder this time. “Matt?” Finally looking up at him, his eyes are hollow and red rimmed like he’s been crying. “What’s going on?”

“I – uh – everything’s gone.” Matt finally croaks, his voice a little hoarse and Kelly has no idea what to say. “I keep remembering stuff I lost. Most of it stupid, clothes, books, cd’s, my coffee mug. Crap I can replace.”

The words flowing from his mouth, Kelly didn’t think Matt could stop them even if he wanted to. So staying where he was Kelly let’s Matt talk and say what he needs to say.

“Then I remember stuff like, concert tickets I’d saved, the stuff with memories attached, photographs. You know my dad bailed when I was a kid and I never really cared or kept anything of his – but my mom. I had some photographs and the ring she wore every day and now.”

Kelly follows Matt’s eyeline to a single photograph on the coffee table, sat on top of a busted up photo frame and singed around the edges. The photograph is of a woman and a very blonde Matthew Casey, maybe ten years old, both facing the camera with matching smiles and blue eyes. She has her arms wrapped around the boy, you can see the ring Matt’s talking about and they both look so happy, Kelly can’t remember the last time he saw Matt smile like that.

Letting out a deep sigh, Kelly asks. “The ring didn’t survive?”

Holding out his hand Matt uncurls his fingers to reveal a melted, miss shaped lump of gold with a surprisingly intact emerald in the middle and it breaks Kelly’s heart.

“When people die, they’re not really gone, they leave pieces of themselves behind. But now there’s nothing left. My mom’s gone.” Matt sniffles, on the edge of tears again and Kelly can’t blame him, it’s not even his story and he feels like crying.

Not hesitating Kelly moves from his spot on the floor to sit beside Matt and pull him into a hug. Matt doesn’t fight it, just collapses into Kelly’s chest and let’s his walls fall, all his pent up emotion coming out in one go. Kelly hold him tight as Matt sobs into him, rubbing his back he whispers hopefully soothing words into his ear.

“I got you Matt.” “It’s gonna be okay.” “I’m not going anywhere.”

Kelly would be lying if he said he didn’t shed a few tears himself. It was heart-breaking to watch someone he cared so much about, fall apart like this. Kelly knows what he wants now and he wants to be here for Matt in these moments but he’s not sure Casey and take anymore change right now. He could still talk to Matt but as a friend, he could still be here for Matt in these moments and help him pick up these pieces but he could wait for the rest. If he truly wanted to be a good man for Matt, he could put aside his selfish want for a little while. He’s not Benny. He’ll never be Benny. He’s going to be the man Matt deserves.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Long after Matt stopped crying the two men are still wrapped up in each other on the couch. Kelly’s leaning against the arm of the couch, his legs across the length. Matt’s head still on Kelly’s chest, he’s lying on his side, his legs in between Kelly’s. Matt fell asleep a while ago and Kelly doesn’t want to disturb the man, he looks so peaceful but he really needs to pee.

Gently waking him up, Kelly can’t deny how cute Matt is when he’s sleepy.

“Case, I really gotta pee.”

“Sorry.” He says sitting up. “You’re probably tired. I am, I’m gonna go to bed.” Matt adds, standing up. Kelly catches his wrist, standing to look him in the eye.

“Matt, you don’t have to keep bottling things up like you always do. I’m here for you. What can I do? What do you need?”

“I – no – it’s too – I can’t ask you that, it’s too much.” Matt says trying to pull away again.

Kelly puts a hand on his neck, using his thumb to wipe away a fresh tear. “Ask me.” He says quietly.

Matt can’t look him in the eye when barely above a whisper he says. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Then you won’t be. Come on, I’m exhausted.” Taking him by the hand Kelly leads them to his bedroom. Matt sits down on the edge of the bed and Kelly grabs his pyjamas, going into his bathroom to pee and change. Coming back out he finds Matt curled up under the sheets and half asleep.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kelly goes into the bathroom to change, leaving Matt sat on the edge of the bed. He was too tired to question why Kelly was being so good to him and he didn’t want to ask in case it all went away. Crawling under the sheets, he curls up in Kelly’s smell and it calms him. The bed’s cold and empty but Kelly will be there soon and he can’t believe how lucky he is to have him. He wants more but he knows that tonight isn’t the night, tonight he needs a friend, he needs Kelly.

Sliding into bed next to him, Kelly pulls him into his arms and suddenly the bed isn’t so big, it’s the perfect size for the two of them and he can’t remember a time when he ever this safe.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lying in bed together, holding Matt in his arms Kelly says. “Tell me about her.”

“What?” Matt asks confused who Kelly’s talking about.

“Your mom, tell me something you remember about her.”

Matt gives a small chuckle as a memory pops into his head. “Petula Clarke, Downtown. It was her favourite song. She used to play it all the time, good day, bad day. When I was little, if I was sad or upset about something, she’d put it on this old record player and start singing, we always ended up dancing together.” Matt’s smiling at the memory and Kelly’s smiling at the picture his head creates of little Matt dancing around and happy.

“You’re a part of her. As long as you remember her, she’s not gone.” Kelly tries to reassure Matt.

“I’m not good at this, being vulnerable, asking for help.”

“I meant what I said. I’m here for you. Whatever you need, no question, no judgement. All you gotta do is ask.”

“Thank you, Kelly.”

They fall into a comfortable silence and Matt is asleep in minutes. Kelly can’t stop looking at him, so peaceful in sleep. Taking advantage of the opportunity to selfishly stare at and hold Matt like he never gets the chance to.


	8. Day seven - (On Shift)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No huge plot, this chapter connects for what happens next.

Waking up early feeling safe and warm, arms around his waist holding him tight against the body behind him. Matt lays there just absorbing that moment before the day begins when he feels something very familiar poking him, grinding back against it and hearing a groan, he suddenly remembers he’s in Kelly’s bed and has matching morning wood himself. Sneaking out of bed Matt jumps into a cold shower, he needed to get a grip, it was normal for a man to wake up like that, it had nothing to do with him.

There was just something about stress, it put him on edge like everyone but it also seriously kicked up his sex drive, almost like it put him into heat or something. Last night with Kelly was different though, yeah of course he wants to sleep with Kelly and not just next to him but Kelly was really there for him and not just in a surface level distraction kind of way. He actually helped him, Kelly was there for him in a real way when he needed him and he’d take the for granted.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Casey’s pouring coffee into their to-go mugs when Severide walks into the kitchen dressed for work.

“Morning. You ready to go?”

“Yeah, I made coffee.” Casey says offering the mug but keeping hold when Kelly reaches for it, feeling a small spark as their fingers touch. “Thank you, Kelly. For last night, I needed that.” He says letting go off the mug.

“You don’t have to thank me but you’re welcome. You doing all right this morning?”

“Yeah, I’m doing okay.”

Driving to work in silence it’s not quite awkward but something feels different and Matt can’t place what it is he’s feeling. He has no idea what to say and before he knows it they’re pulling up at 51. Matt’s reaching for the door handle when Kelly finally says something.

“Matt, it’s none of my business.” Kelly says, clearing his throat. “But I gotta say something. If you’re hooking up, so you don’t have to be alone, you don’t have to. What I mean is, you can always come to me. I mean that we could share the bed, not –”

“I know what you meant, Kelly.” Matt says with a smile. “I appreciate it.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Casey’s getting a hoodie from his locker, it was the one he grabbed in the fire and it was his favourite, his blue, CFD, truck 81 hoodie. Closing the locker, Herrmann appears behind him with a serious parental look on his face.

“Hey, Casey, just checking in. How you doing kid?”

Turning to lean against his locker, Casey takes a breath, everyone at 51 is so in sync and he’s been waiting for the day that everyone checks in on him.

“Honestly, Herrmann. A little better, I got some good people looking out for me.”

“Glad to hear it. Come on, breakfast’s ready.”

The two officers are plating up their breakfast when Cruz comes into the common room and gets everyone’s attention.

“Okay everybody, registration for the polar plunge is now open. Who’s in with me?”

“Awesome, I’ve been wanting to do that for years, I always end up on shift.” Otis says almost immediately.

“Yeah, well this year we are all clear and they have a special section for city services. I was gonna sign us all up as a group.” Cruz says, moving to get his own breakfast.

“Count me in.” Kidd says pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“I should already be in the system under the Bucktown Winter Walrus Club.” Mouch says from the table and it kinda sounded like a brag.

“I’m in.” Casey says taking a seat at the table.

“Hey, what’s all this?” Foster asks confused.

“Oh, it’s a big charity event. Basically you jump into Lake Michigan.” Brett explains.

“In February. You’re joking. For why?” Foster says, not quite getting it.

“I just said, for charity.” Brett tells her.

“For crazy, you mean.” Foster comes back with.

“Oh, what do you say Foster? Do you wanna jump in with the rest of us?” Cruz says, putting his head on Brett’s shoulder they both give her the most pleading, innocent look they can manage.

“Seriously, I love you folks, truly. It’s a hard no. You guys are loco.” Foster says with a laugh, moving to sit at the table.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It’s a real quiet shift so far but watching, Otis, Cruz, Mouch and Kidd trying to convince each other to get into the hazmat pool that Cruz had filled with cold water and ice was amusing enough to keep them occupied. Severide’s fixing a K-12 saw at the squad table when Casey walks over and asks.

“Should I reign this in?”

“Not until you take a turn.” Kelly says with a smirk, looking him up and down.

“Yeah, that’s not happening.” Matt laughs heading back to the common room.

That look Severide gave him did not escape Kidd’s notice, yeah it was time to talk to him again.

“Ah, Severide. I did the equipment check this morning, you mind taking a second look at one of the SCBA’s for me?”

“Sure. Which one?”

“I’ll show you.” Kidd says following him into the turn out room.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“So, who’s is it?” Kelly asks looking around the shelves of equipment.

“What? Oh, I lied. I wasn’t even on equipment check today. What just happened between you and Casey?”

“Do you have eyes in the back of your head? Seriously, how do you do it?”

Kidd gives him a look and Kelly lets out a sigh, there’s no point in even trying to hide things from this woman. “I’m not going into details but the headlines. A few days ago we kissed but it didn’t exactly end well.”

“What?! And you didn’t tell me!” Kidd says in shock, her jaw falling slack.

Kelly shushes her looking around the room. “Shh! You wanna hear the rest or what?” Not saying a word Stella simply holds her hands up in surrender and Kelly continues. “I had a bad day yesterday, so did Casey. When I got home he was kind of a mess, we talked it out and – nothing happened. You we’re right, he needs a friend and I’m gonna be that for him but I’m not gonna hide how I feel anymore.”

“So you’re gonna make a move?” Kidd asks confused.

“No, I just said he needs a friend. I’m pretty sure that if one more thing changes, Casey’s gonna have a breakdown.”

“Sooo – you’re gonna be there for him and whatever he needs and –”

“If something happens, it happens. If Casey wants something more, he’ll say it but I’m not gonna force it.” Kelly explains. “Now I gotta finishing that K-12 before we get a call.” And with that he leaves the turnout room.

“Yeah, Casey will say something.” Stella sighs. “Men are idiots.” She says to herself.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ritter’s making dinner when Cruz comes into the common room carrying a laptop and looking for Casey.

“Hey, Captain. Chloe emailed over the inventory list for the insurance thing she’s helping out with. Said you just need to look it over, add anything else you can remember and it’s ready to send off.”

“Thanks, Cruz. I’ll take a look at it now and tell Chloe thank you for me. Next time she’s at Molly’s, she drinks on me.”

“I’ll let her know.”

The entire house sits down to dinner and Casey’s on the laptop, looking over the list and trying to remember anything else that was in his apartment. It’s crazy how you can have a house full of stuff but when you try to remember everything valuable you once owned it’s so easy to forget the obvious things.

“Oh, son of a bitch!” Casey suddenly yells surprising everyone.

“What’d you remember?” Severide asks concerned after last night.

Casey’s scrubs a hand over his face then looks to Severide and Boden to explain. “The cigars. The really good ones we were saving for our next fishing trip. I had them.”

Both Boden and Severide wince like they just got punched in the stomach.

“Oh, damn that hurts.” Kelly says first.

“I was looking forward to them.” Boden adds.

“I don’t get it.” Brett says. “They’re just cigars, I mean cigars are gross but just get some new ones.”

“You don’t understand, Brett.” Casey starts.

“They are limited, there’s only so many made and sold each year.” Boden explains.

“And this years are sold out.” Severide says.

“It’s only February.” Kidd throws in.

“They sell out in three days, tops.” Casey tells them.

“I think I might cry.” Severide says and he’s only half joking.


	9. Day nine - (Off Shift 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Kelly spend a quiet day together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t panic you didn’t miss a chapter, I skipped a day because nothing happened.

Waking up naturally instead of to the shrill screech of an alarm going off and to the smell of bacon no less. If there was a better way to wake up on a day off, Kelly didn’t know what it was. Well, waking up next to Matt, naked after having had sex all night. That would be pretty damn perfect, great now he’s getting turned on. His stomach growling interrupts that thought and he follows his nose in search of bacon to find Casey in the kitchen making breakfast, a lot of breakfast.

“Woah, you cooking for an army?” Kelly jokes as he wipes the sleep from his eyes.

“Ha-ha, I was about to come get you. Grab a plate. I made coffee too.” Casey says putting the final pancake on a plate.

They both fill a plate and get in front of the tv, Matt gives Kelly the remote and tells him to pick something.

“Breakfast and the remote. What’s all this for?”

“My way of saying thank you, for everything you’ve done lately, especially the other night. I was thinking if can tear yourself away from the boat for a day. We could hang out.”

“Sounds good. I was thinking of skipping the boat today anyway, I’m beat.” Kelly emphasises with a yawn. Having Matt to himself for the day sounded great, a chance to catch up and repair some of the distance he’d created recently. “There a plan for today or we winging it?”

“Well, there’s a Blackhawks game on later, we could watch it at Molly’s –”

“Ah, leaving the house sounds like way too much effort today.”

“Okay, we could order Lou Manatis pizza and stay in then.”

“Now, that sounds like a plan.”

“My treat. I’ve not exactly been the best roommate since I moved in and we haven’t done anything yet for us living together again.”

The tv’s on but neither of them are really watching it, too busy talking and laughing just like old times. They catch up and Kelly hadn’t realised just how much they’d drifted lately, even before the fire and it felt like he was learning who Matt was all over again, it was exciting like everything was new.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They talk for hours and the day disappears quickly, Matt’s walking back into the living room from the bathroom to find Kelly with his coat on and holding two cigars.

“They’re not as good as the one’s we lost but they’re Cubans. Come on, grab your coat we got just enough time to smoke these before the game starts.”

“What we waiting for then.” Matt says grabbing his jacket.

They grab the foldout chairs and an ash tray, heading for the roof. Smoking cigars was their signature way of having important conversations or just spending time together, letting the other know that they weren’t alone when something in their life wasn’t going right.

“Hey, I know you’ve been asked this about a thousand times but how are doing? Really.”

“I don’t know. All the insurance stuff was actually easier to sort out than I thought, my parts done and everything’s sent off, just gotta wait to hear back. I’ve got the essentials, you know the stuff Cindy got for me and I’ve bought some stuff here and there. Got new car keys, sorted bank stuff.” Matt trials off.

“That’s stuff though, not you.”

“I know. It’s just hard to wrap your head around losing years’ worth of stuff. I mean, something I thought off was. How many house fires do you think we’ve responded to?”

“Combined? Wow, I have no idea. A lot.” Kelly thought about it and he literally couldn’t put a number to it, it varied how much damage was done but it could have been hundreds potentially close to a thousand between them.

“Exactly, we don’t have to deal with anything past overhaul. Yeah, sometimes we pitch in with something afterwards but how many people, lost everything or had to rebuild or lost family. I guess I just got a glimpse of the other side and it’s messing with my head a little.”

“I can’t even imagine.” Kelly freely admits.

“Brett offered to help me find a new place, apparently she’s really into those house hunting shows. And I thought about it, I mean this place is great but it’s yours and I’m just staying here but then I thought, I don’t really wanna live on my own again. It’s your own space but it just kinda –”

“Sucks, right? Living on your own.”

“Yeah, it’s your own space but sometimes it’s just too damn quiet. Anyway, I don’t know what I’m doing right now but making big life decisions does not sound like a good idea. If you don’t mind me sticking around that is?”

“As long as you want man. You know, we could make it feel more like your place too. Landlord’s a friend, be easy enough to put your name on the lease and you could put up some stuff. I always liked that firefighter picture you had up, shouldn’t be too hard to replace or find something similar.”

Casey smiles at him, a genuine smile that isn’t just from the mouth, it’s like it comes from his soul and just lights everything up.

“You’re too good to me, Kelly.”

The pair sit in comfortable silence, enjoying their cigars along with the view of the water and the city until it’s almost game time.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kelly orders pizza and Matt fills a cooler with ice and beer so they don’t have to move from the screen. Food’s great, beers great, company in perfect and the game is a win for the Blackhawks. A perfect ending to the day, both men have had a couple of beers but tomorrow’s shift so they don’t overdo it. Kelly switches the tv off and yawns loudly before saying.

“I’m gonna call it, get a decent night’s sleep for tomorrow. You comin’ in?” Kelly subtly asks knowing it could be a little awkward to straight out ask if two grown men are platonically sharing a bed.

“Uh, yeah. If it’s – if it’s still okay?”

“Case. I said it was, come on.”

Kelly’s brushing his teeth and thinking back on the day, it was platonic if a little bro-mantic but it’s as close to normal as things have between them in a while. He was touched at the effort Matt had gone to for them to spend the day together and he really was exhausted this morning so a quiet day was perfect for him. Leaving the bathroom he finds Matt already in his bed, covers pulled up under his chin and his eyes closed. Kelly crawls into bed next to him but they don’t cuddle up like last time, turning out the light he says.

“Goodnight, Matt.”

“Night, Kelly.” Matt mumbles back, half asleep already.

Matt changes and brushes his teeth faster than he ever has before, wanting to get in bed before Kelly because he knows if he walks in to see Kelly already in bed he might just panic and run the other way. He still can’t believe Kelly is cool with this, sharing a bed with a grown man who’s too scared to be alone but he’s not gonna question it for fear of Kelly changing his mind. Getting into bed Matt thinks over the day, it had gone better than he’d hoped. He woke up yesterday feeling awful, he’d been the worst roommate, so wrapped up in his own shit and things had been awkward. He figured it was his turn to make an effort and try to get them back to normal. Just good friends.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kelly’s fast asleep when a hit to the ribs wakes him up, opening his eyes he tries to adjust to the dark and figure out what’s going on. He can feel Matt tossing and turning beside him, letting out mumbled words and quiet grunts. Suddenly it clicks, Matt’s having a nightmare.

“Matt?” Kelly’s hand on his shoulder he tries to wake him up but Matt just flinches away, curling in on himself. “Matt?” He tries again a little louder, shaking his shoulder this time but it still doesn’t work. Matt’s sweating and he can’t make out any the words he’s muttering but this is breaking Kelly’s heart. He doesn’t know what to do but he can’t seem to wake Matt up so he acts on instinct.

Pulling Matt into his arms and against his body, the man fights him at first but once he’s got tight hold on him and starts whispering soothing things in his ear, he begins to settle. “Shhhh, Matt it’s okay. I got you. I got you. You’re safe, I’m not going anywhere. I got you.” Kelly can’t stop talking, holding Matt tight. Kelly can feel the strained muscles begin to relax as he rubs Matt’s back, his other hand on the back of Matt’s head holding him to the crook of his neck. he had no idea what Matt was dreaming about but Kelly desperately wanted to fix it or kick someone’s ass and never see Matt like this again.

It takes a while for Matt to fully settle but Kelly just holds him through it, even after it’s over and Matt appears to be deep asleep Kelly still can’t let go and he holds him through the night.


	10. Day fourteen - (Off Shift 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The polar plunge, angst, angst and more angst. (With a little more angst sprinkled on top.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is HUGE and was an equally huge pain in the ass to finish. If I waffle on too much, apologies I just had to get this posted or it would take forever. We’re seeing a little more of the internal struggle both idiots, sorry men (aren’t they the same thing) are going through.

It’s been two weeks since Matt moved in and yeah it was a rocky start and a lot had happened in a short amount of time but things were looking up and the actual living together side of things was going great. They’d lived together before so they already knew the other’s quirks like how Kelly’s always losing his keys and how Matt is not a morning person and needs coffee before any chance of conversation.

Since Casey’s nightmare they’d been sharing a bed every night they weren’t on shift, Matt didn’t seem to remember it but Kelly did. Every night he waited for Matt to fall asleep first before pulling him into his arms and Matt would sleep soundly through the night.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Today is the day of the polar plunge, all of 51 is at the beach ready and waiting to go into the freezing waters, they’d even managed to convince Foster to join the insanity. Huddled together, Casey pulls a hip flask from his coat pocket and asks Severide.

“Tell me again, why are we doing this? We’re not even in the water yet and I’m already cold.”

Kelly can’t help but laugh, Matt’s all bundled up in his hat and coat, bouncing on his toes to try and keep warm. “For like the fourth time, it’s for charity and it’s fun.”

“Charity I get but I’m not so sure this is fun.” Matt says sarcastically, taking a swig from his flask.

“Fine, if you wanna wuss out, then go hang out with the other spectators and the outdoor heaters.”

“Shut up, you want some of this or not?” Casey sasses, offering Kelly the hip flask.

“Yeah, give me that.” Kelly says taking a swig from the flask and coughing at the strength of whatever was inside. “What’s in this rocket fuel?”

“Yep.” Matt pops the ‘p’. “That’s why you’re driving home.” He adds with a smirk and they hear Brett saying.

“Foster’s right, we’re all nuts.”

Casey mouths ‘see’ to Kelly and they both laugh as Brett asks.

“How long do we have to go in for?”

“As long as you can handle it.” Kelly tells her but he’s looking at Matt.

“If you wanna have a go at my five minute record, you’re welcome to try.” Mouch brags.

Boden comes to stand in front of them, giving one of his rallying speeches.

“Okay, let’s be clear, we are here for charity, we are here to have fun. Don’t want to see anybody pushing past their limits. I expect to see every single one of you on duty next shift. All that being said, lets show those lightweights over at 21st district what we can do!”

Everyone’s whooping and cheering when they hear the announcer call.

“Next up we have representatives from the Chicago Fire Department, Firehouse 51! Swimmers take your positions!”

Everyone strips off their hats, coats and anything they don’t want to take into the water. Both Matt and Kelly are left wearing swim trunks and no shirts, it’s the first time Kelly’s seen Matt without a shirt since their kiss and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t do something to him. The cold water would definitely help hide that though, the announcer interrupts Kelly’s thoughts yelling.

“Ready, set, go!”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hitting the water, the shock of the cold hits your lungs first and you have to remember to breathe, it sounds simple but it really does take your breath away and not in a good way. Staying in shallow water they all still have their feet on the bottom, Kelly sticking close to Matt’s side as 51 splashes in the water, all shouting to each other and playing around like kids. Foster barely lasts a minute before she shouts.

“I was right, this is loco! I’m out!” As she runs out of the water and straight into a fluffy towel and her coat.

The rest of them last a few more minutes before bailing out, they find Foster by the outdoor heaters warming up with a cup of hot chocolate. Everyone changes into the dry clothes they brought with them and gathers for a group photograph with their ‘I did it!’ certificates.

Herrmann stands on a chair and whistles to get everyone’s attention.

“All right! knuckleheads, can I have your attention! Everyone go home, warm up, do what you gotta do then get to Molly’s, we got hot food and cold beer.”

A cheer erupts from 51 and they head home to ‘do what they gotta do’ as Herrmann put it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Getting back to the apartment they both jump into a hot shower to properly warm up. Kelly’s in the kitchen making coffee when Matt walks in bundled up in more layers than when they left the plunge.

“You’re still cold?” He asks concerned.

“Yes. I think the shower made it worse somehow.”

“Come here.” Kelly pulls Matt close to him and putting a hand on his forehead he says. “You are cold. Shouldn’t have had that hip flask, you know alcohol actually makes the cold worse for you.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. Listen, I’m tired so I’m gonna skip Molly’s but you should go.”

“Leave you like this, hell no. Matt, I think you might be a little hypothermic.”

“I’m fine, you go. I’m just gonna take a nap.” Matt finishes with a yawn.

“Get your ass on the couch and under a blanket. I will get us both a coffee and we can watch some crap tv.”

“Yes, sir.” Casey says with a little mock salute, moving to do what Kelly told him.

Again Kelly would be lying if he said Matt’s little ‘yes sir’ didn’t do something to him even if it was just a joke. Carrying two mugs over to the couch, Matt’s sitting sideways with the blanket over him. Kelly puts the mugs on the coffee table and tells Matt to budge up, moving to sit behind him. Matt’s back to his chest and Kelly’s legs either side of him. Getting Netflix up and running they settle into an easy silence and relax but now that they’re sat so close Kelly can feel how cold Matt really is, the skin of his arms cool and a little clammy, a gentle shiver moving through his body.

“Take your shirt off.” Kelly says from nowhere.

“Wha- What?” Casey stutters.

“You heard me. I seriously think you’re hypothermic.” Kelly says taking his own shirt off.

“I’ll warm up. You don’t need to –”

“Matt, you’re EMT trained, you know body heat is the fastest way to get your core temperature up, so stop being stubborn and do it. It’s this or I’m taking you to Med. Your choice.”

Sighing Matt takes off his shirt and leans back into Kelly’s warm chest, having to suppress a moan. Sharing a bed with Kelly was hard enough but Kelly had been so sweet and attentive to him lately, it was getting harder and harder to not just jump him already. The way Kelly’s taking charge and telling him what to do, it’s kinda turning Matt on right now. He wants this but he seriously can’t tell anymore if Kelly’s actually interested or just being a good friend. Sometimes the people you know best can be the hardest to figure out.

Okay Kelly really didn’t think this through. Matt’s half naked, laying on his bare chest and in between his legs, Kelly’s trying to think the least sexy thoughts he possible can because if he gets a hard on now there’s no way Matt won’t feel it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Matt’s been asleep for a few hours, Kelly had sent Kidd a text to say they weren’t coming to Molly’s and she’d sent back a few suggestive texts asking what they were doing but so far he’d just ignored them. It’s getting dark now and Kelly’s getting hungry when Matt begins to stir, waking up on his chest.

“Huh. I fell asleep.” Matt says wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“Yeah, you barely lasted two episodes.” Kelly tells him, not even realise he’s running his fingers through Casey’s hair until the man leans into the touch, it always amazed him how many different directions his hair could stick out at when he first wakes up.

“I’m hungry.” Matt says, sitting up to stretch out his back. He runs his hands through his hair before adding. “Urgh, I don’t wanna go out. You know, I’m fine now so if you wanna go to Molly’s and see Stella, you can.”

“Stella? What you talking about?” Kelly asks confused.

“Nothing, I’ve just seen you two hanging around a lot lately.”

“Me and Kidd aren’t a thing. If that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Oh, okay. I guess, I’ll make dinner then. You hungry?” Matt says, practically jumping off the couch and going over to the kitchen.

“Yeah, you want a hand?” Kelly offers.

“No, I got it.” Matt waves him off, not looking back.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It’s tricky to get a moment to yourself when you need to think something out and you live in an open plan apartment but Matt settles for turning his back to Kelly as he makes them dinner. He was getting signs lately that Kelly was interested in more than just friendship, more than one morning he’d woken up in the mans arms and all the little things he was doing for him lately. Kelly was so distant when he’d first moved in, running off to the boat at the first chance he got but now they were sharing a bed every night. It wasn’t sexual but it was definitely crossing the line of ‘just friends’. Matt couldn’t be the one to make the first move though, not after what happened the last time, he was too scared and Kelly knows how he usually handles stress the last thing he wants if for Kelly to think that was all it was because he didn’t want it to be just that. He wanted so much more. That’s why he’d stopped it the first time.

He’d noticed Kelly and Stella sneaking around the house and having quiet conversations lately but if they weren’t a thing, then why wouldn’t Kelly just make a move. It’s not like Kelly Severide has problems making a move, his moves were basically legend at this point. Maybe there was a way he could ‘test him’, see if he could get Kelly to make a move or find out of he just wasn’t interested without making it too obvious what he was really doing.

It didn’t take long to throw something simple together, just pasta, a jar of sauce he found in the cupboard and some vegetables. Taking their food over, Kelly’s still sitting sideways on the couch so Matt hands Kelly a bowl and sits between his legs but with his back to the back of the couch so they can eat. They eat in a comfortable silence, both half watching the tv and catching the other looking at them when they didn’t know they were looking at them, you get the idea. They both keep stealing looks, when they think the other isn’t looking, only to find themselves staring at each other before shying away to stare intently at the tv. Kidd might have had a point, this is getting a little like a romance novel.

Empty bowls hitting the coffee table a yawn escapes Matt’s body and he doesn’t fight it when Kelly pulls him into his arms and back into the same position as earlier. Matt has to bite his lip again as he settles into that strong chest because he’d totally forgotten they were both still shirtless. So comfortable in the others company, neither felt like they had to cover up. Well they were comfortable, now it was like a tension had fallen between them. Not awkward, more sexual, like a low crackle of electricity in the air that could become lightning at any second. Matt can’t relax enough to get comfortable, so aware of Kelly’s hands resting on his thighs, were they could be, what they could do, all the places they could reach in this position.

Matt’s fidgeting, wriggling around trying to get comfortable but all Kelly can feel is Matt’s ass grinding into his crotch. He’s trying so hard to ignore it but there’s only so much a man can take and it’s having an effect on him. As if a reflex his hands snap up to grab Matt’s hips, stilling his movements and he swears he hears Matt moan, reminding him so much of the night they’d kissed. He needs to get out of this situation. Now.

“I gotta go the bathroom.” Kelly suddenly says and quickly extricates himself from the couch, practically running into his room and closing the door behind him. Damn open plan loft, the bathroom and the bedroom are the only private places and he couldn’t exactly say he was going to his room, that would be weird. Leaning over the bathroom sink Kelly lets out a sigh, was Matt doing that on purpose, he couldn’t be, right? Kelly couldn’t tell anymore, he’d gotten it so far into his head that Matt needed a friend that it was hard to see anything else or was he just seeing what he wanted to see.

Kelly ran off to his room leaving Matt on the couch, he wasn’t doing it on purpose, pushing back against Kelly, not at first anyway but it seemed to answer his question. Kelly freaked out and ran away, he might not have anything going with Kidd but it didn’t seem like he wanted anything with Matt either. Maybe they were too close, friends for so long that anything happening between them would just be weird. Matt couldn’t lie, when Kelly grabbed his hips it really turned him on and that tiny moan that escaped his lips was so close to a full, like throw your head back moan, reminding him of the night they kissed. Don’t get him wrong, he’s not into S&M or anything but he does get off on a little manhandling and Kelly is more than strong enough to pick him up or push him against a wall or just put him exactly where he wants him, yeah now that’s hot. Great, now he’s getting hard just from the thought of it, maybe he should duck into his room for a bit or go to bed early or something or take a cold shower, a voice from the back of his head adds. Picking his shirt up off the floor he hears Kelly coming back to the room, too late for an escape then, grabbing the blanket he dives to the other end of the couch and covers his crotch just as Kelly opens his bedroom door.

Kelly joins Matt on the couch and there’s still tension but different to before, sat on opposite ends of the couch neither man knows what to say anymore so they say nothing. Kelly had put on a shirt in his room but glancing over to Matt he sees the man wearing his shirt from earlier.

Matt sits there for as long as he can, he’d picked up the wrong damn shirt and now he can smell Kelly but he’s lost the mans warmth and he feels colder than when he was waist deep in lake Michigan. He can’t take it anymore, standing up he tells Kelly.

“I’m going to bed.” But he heads for his own room for the first time in almost a week.

“You not coming in tonight?” Kelly worriedly asks as Matt walks away from him.

“No, I’ll be fine.” Matt doesn’t even look back at him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sitting on the couch in the dimly lit living room Kelly’s fighting the urge to go check on Matt, he knows somethings up, the tension between them was almost unbearable and now Matt’s sleeping alone for the first time in days. What if he has a nightmare and Kelly isn’t there, he doesn’t know if he can sleep with that worry hanging over him and when did he start pacing. Kelly practically paces a hole in the rug until he can’t take it anymore, deciding fuck it, he’s just gonna go check on Matt. That was normal right? He’s a friend who’s worried about a friend.

Walking over to his room in bare feet just in case Matt was asleep already, he finds the bedroom door open a crack and he can hear heavy breathing coming from inside. Was Matt having a nightmare already? A knot in his stomach, he opens the door just a few inches and peeks inside. Well, he wasn’t expecting that. Under the covers he can’t see Matt’s hands but Kelly knows exactly what he’s doing and it wasn’t a nightmare. Momentarily frozen in place Kelly watches, Matt’s eyes closed and jaw slack as he pleases himself, Kelly can’t remember the last time he was this hard. Matt’s head rolls back, letting out a breathy moan of ‘Kelly’ but he had to be hearing things right? Like the night he could hear Matt through the wall, he wasn’t sure at first if it was coming through the wall or if it was just in his head. He wants this so bad, he can’t trust whether or not he just heard what he thinks he heard. Backing away from the door before he’s caught spying like a perv, Kelly retreats to his room even more confused than before.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Matt gets into bed hoping he can just fall straight to sleep because he can’t think about this anymore, there wasn’t even a word for what was going on with him and Kelly and he was giving himself a headache. It’s driving him crazy and the tension, the itch under his skin, he needs to get off, it’s not that late he could still call a ‘friend’ but no that’s not what he wants. He doesn’t want some random contact from his phone that he doesn’t really care about, he wants Kelly. Tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable, that’s all he can think about he wants Kelly, the beds too big, too cold. He want’s Kelly laying next to him, behind him, holding him tight or maybe just on top of him. One thought, that’s all it was but now his right hand is drifting to where he wants it and he can’t stop thinking about Kelly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Describing how people sit on a couch, when they're not just sat next to each other, is surprisingly difficult. Any other writers have this problem?


	11. Day sixteen - (On Shift)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Stella's had enough of their bullshit and enlists help.

Sitting in his office pretending to do paperwork, Casey’s been in a daze all morning. Kelly had avoided him all day yesterday, running off to the boat again. Matt had texted him asking if he was joining them at Molly’s but he’d made some excuse about staying late at the boat, he was just gonna shower and get an early night. So Matt slept alone again, well he went to bed alone but this morning when his alarm went off, Kelly was in bed with him. Apparently he’d had a nightmare and Kelly couldn’t wake him up but stuck around to make sure he was okay. Matt didn’t remember a thing, couldn’t even remember the last time he had a nightmare but now he’s not sure what he should be paying more attention to, a nightmare he doesn’t remember or Kelly getting into bed to comfort him. He’s so confused, why can’t anything with Kelly just be simple.

A knock on the door snaps Casey from his thoughts and he turns to see Brett.

“Hey, you got a minute?” She asks in her usual cheery way.

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

“Uh, just wanted to check in on you. You’ve been a little out of it the last couple of shifts.” Brett says tentatively, knowing Casey isn’t much of a talker. Closing the door to give them some privacy.

“No, I’m okay. It’s all good.” Casey says not even believing it himself.

“Really, Casey? Your life got turned upside down, barely two weeks ago and your back at work and acting like nothing happened.”

“Oh, all that. Yeah, that sucked but I’ll deal with it. It’s just stuff at the end of the day. I’m fine.”

“So, it’s something else.” Brett pushes forward, seriously getting the men in this house to open up is like pulling teeth.

Casey stutters, trying to find the right words to get out of this. “Ah, um. Brett, I appreciate the concern but it’s just a personal thing. A stupid personal thing and I’m just trying to figure it out.”

“Okay, well just so you know. I’m here if you wanna talk and nothing said will leave the room.”

Casey smiles and nods and Brett figures she’s not gonna get anything out of him today. She’s halfway out the door when Casey says.

“One question for you.” Turning back Brett closes the door again and sits on the end of Casey’s bunk so they can talk. “Severide. Have you noticed him being, kinda extra around me?”

“How do you mean?” Brett asks confused. Casey lets out a sigh and decides to just tell her, well not everything but enough. He’s going in circles with Kelly and now he’s so twisted up in knots he can’t see what’s going on between them. He tells Brett about last night, the nightmare and Kelly taking care of him, the little things he’s gone out of his way to do for him and she agrees it sounds like more than a friend but 51 does tend to go the extra mile for each other. She says Casey should just talk to him, ask Severide what’s going on. Talk, yeah, like that was gonna happen. Like he could just walk up to Kelly and ask him what the hell was going on.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Taking two aspirin for the pounding in his head Kelly closes his locker and lets out a sigh he was thinking so hard about Matt and what to do, what meant what, was he missing signs, was he seeing things that weren’t there that he actually gave himself a headache. Grabbing his arm, Kidd drags him over to the showers and immediately asks him.

“Soooo, what happened the other night with Casey? You guys were too ‘busy’ to come to Molly’s?” In a sing-songy voice.

“Stella, it’s not like that and you know it.” Kelly says a little too loud, they both look around to make sure they’re alone.

“You know every time you say that, you sound a little less sure of yourself. Talk to me. What happened?”

“Matt was borderline hypothermic, I was worried, I helped warm him up.”

“Wow, that sounds dirty.” Stella says musing on all the ways you could help ‘warm someone up’, Kelly gives her an unimpressed look before she continues. “Okay, so your taking care of him. That’s sweet.”

“I’m being –” Kelly tries to say yet again but Stella cuts him off.

“A friend, yes you’ve told me. If you want my advice. Jump him, already.”

“And if that’s not what he wants?” Kelly asks.

“But it is what he wants.” She throws back at him.

“How do you know that? Matt is one of the most complicated, confusing people I’ve ever met. I don’t even think he knows what he wants.”

“What do you want?” Stella asks him but Kelly just scoffs, throwing his arms up. “Yeah, and Matt’s the complicated one. Kelly if you can’t even say it then it’s never gonna happen. Talk to him or let it go because you’re gonna make yourself ill, you already look like hell by the way.”

“I can’t talk to him.”

Stella puts her hands on Kelly’s face saying. “My sweet, beautiful, emotionally stunted man.” She slowly slid her hands down to her neck and pretended to throttle him. “What am I gonna do with you.” They share a chuckle and Stella sighs before saying. “Kelly, I seriously don’t get it. Why can’t you just talk to him?”

Kelly slides down the wall to sit on the floor and Kidd sits next to him before he says. “Matt’s my best friend. After Shay died – he pulled me out of that hole and I seriously don’t know where I’d be without him. I know I wouldn’t be here. I’m just –”

“Scared to lose him?” Stella finishes for him when Kelly can’t seem to get the words out. 

“Yeah.” Kelly admits.

“But Kelly, if this is what Matt wants too and I’m not joking when I say this because I think he does. You could have everything. Not everyone has what you and Matt have. Even if it didn’t work out, isn’t it worse to never know?”

**_Dispatch: Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61, Multiple Vehicle Accident._ **

“Saved by the bells.” Kidd jokes as they head for the rigs.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ambo is the last back to the house after the call and Kidd is standing waiting for them as they park up. Getting out Brett sees the look on her face and says to her.

“It didn’t go well did it?”

“What’s going on here?” Foster asks confused.

“We can’t talk about this here.” Kidd says looking around conspiratorially, she opens up the back of the ambo and Brett jumps in.

“Okay, really. What’s going on? Are we planning to ‘whack’ someone?”

“Just get in.” Kidd tells her.

“Uhm, I’m think I’ll go get coffee instead.” Foster says turning to go inside.

“It’s gossip.” Brett calls after her.

“Why didn’t you just say that.” Foster says turning back around and hopping into the back. Chuckling, Stella climbs up and closes the doors. You had to get creative to find privacy in a firehouse.

Stella had lost her patience and decided to bring in re-enforcements, she’d talked to Brett last night at Molly’s and she was gonna talk to Casey this morning, Stella talked to Kelly again and now they needed to compare notes. Getting Foster’s help wouldn’t hurt either, these boys are so stubborn it’s an all hands on deck situation.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later in the day Kelly’s sat doing a crossword at the squad table when Foster walks over and takes a seat.

“What’s up?” Kelly asks her. He likes Foster but they still haven’t spent a huge amount of time together yet.

“Tomorrow’s Friday and we actually have it off, plus a day to recover from a hangover before were back on shift. I need a clubbing spot, don’t ask why, it’s a long story but you know all the best spots in the city. Any suggestions?”

Kelly likes how direct she can be, not dancing around something, she just says what she wants. He could use that right now. “Uh, there’s a club on Rush street, it’s okay. There’s a great whiskey bar I know, throw in my name and ask the owner the difference between Scotch and Whiskey, he’ll do you a free tasting. Trust me, it’s enough to get drunk off. Oh, I almost forgot about this, there’s a pop-up in Canaryville this weekend. I know the bouncer, use my name you won’t have to wait.”

“Pop-up sounds good. You going?”

“I forgot about it but yeah, I might. Shit, can’t remember the last Friday night I went out drinking.”

“Why not take Casey? He could probably use a night out, I know I would.”

“Good idea.” Kelly says standing up and walking inside in search of Casey.

Foster’s left sitting there, hiding a smile behind her coffee mug. “That was too easy.” She says to herself before ducking into the turnout room. “It’s done.” She says to the two women waiting for her.

“What’s done?” Stella asks.

“Yeah, you didn’t tell us what you were doing. You just said to wait in here for you.” Brett elaborates.

“I gave Severide the idea that he and Casey should go clubbing.” She tells them with a sly smile.

“And how will that help?” Brett asks, still confused.

“Oh, come on. Neither of you can get them to talk, to you or each other. Send them clubbing, they have a few drinks, dancing, bodies pressed up together. If you can’t make them talk, make them screw each other instead. That ought to do something.” Foster explains like it’s the simplest thing.

“Oh, this could end, just, so badly.” Stella says slowly, thinking of all the ways this could go wrong.

“Or it could go great.” Foster says smiling and nodding at them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Finding Matt in the corridor Kelly corners him. “Hey, you got any plans for tomorrow?”

“Uh, guy I know over at 48 has VIP passes for the rescue equipment expo but I’m not sure if I’m gonna go. Why?” Matt sounds bored by expo and he’s not even there yet.

“Well, I had an idea.” Kelly says with way too much enthusiasm.

“Dangerous.” Matt jokes, smirking back at Kelly.

“Shut up. When was the last time we hit the town on a Friday night?” Kelly asks with a grin.

“Damn, that does sound better. I’m in.” Matt agrees, walking off to do whatever he was headed for before Kelly grabbed him.

The girls were hiding around the corner and listening to every word. “See the plan is working.” Foster says with an evil genius smile.

“I still have a bad feeling about this.” Stella tells her.


	12. Day seventeen - (Off Shift 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go clubbing, could it really be that simple or will it all end in disaster?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone’s interested the song played in the club, on the show season 7 episode 13 is NVDES – Mind Body Soul Music. Oh and it’s awesome.

On their way out the front door, Casey throws on a leather jacket and grabbing his keys he asks Severide.

“Is there a plan to tonight or are we just winging it?”

“I got a plan.” Kelly says with a cocky grin that Matt hasn’t seen in a while.

“Care to share?”

“You’ll see.” Kelly tells him, locking the apartment door behind them, they head downstairs to get a cab.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Getting out of the cab Matt thanks the driver and looks to Kelly. “When you said it was a nightclub in Canaryville, I thought you were joking.”

“It’s just for the weekend. It’s a pop-up.” Kelly tells him. “Come on, let’s get inside.” He says leading them to the front of the line. You can hear the music blaring from outside and Matt knows this is gonna be a good night, exactly what they need.

“What’s up, man?” Kelly greets the doorman.

“What’s up, my man? It’s been a minute.” He replies, shaking Kelly’s hand. “Damn, Matt. That you?” He says to Casey, pulling him in for a man hug.

“Marcus, been a while. What you doing here?”

“Ah, Jake’s doing these pop-ups now, this is one of his. He’s inside, you should say hi.” The bouncer says waving them in.

“I will, thanks.” Matt says as they head straight in, skipping the line.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Walking into the club the music is pounding, vibrating through the walls and floors up into their bodies, both men feel themselves beginning to unwind already, they needed this. Time to cut loose.

“I’ll grab us a table.” Kelly says seeing one of the standing tables is clear.

“I’ll get us a drink.” Matt says heading for the bar.

“Can I get two beers.” Matt says to the bartender.

“Matt?” The bartender says recognises him.

“Rick? Do I know everyone here tonight?” Matt chuckles as they shake hands over the bar.

“Maybe, a lot of the old crowd’s here tonight. Gonna be a good one. You still want beer or –”

“Dealers choice.” Matt finishes for him. Rick’s an old friend and a seriously skilled bartender, Matt trusts whatever he serves up will be great. Rick gets to work making two cocktails, flaring bottles as he goes.

“So you here by yourself?” Rick asks, as he shakes the cocktails.

“No, with a friend.” Matt says looking over at Kelly.

Rick tracks his eyeline and says. “A friend or ‘a friend’?”

Matt chuckles. “I’m not sure.”

“Well, either way, you’ll have no problem hooking up tonight. Trust me.” Rick says, adding a little garnish to the glasses.

“Huh, maybe.” Matt says with a shrug. He’s not looking to hook up with a stranger tonight, he just wants to hang out with Severide and if something else were to happen between them tonight, well he wouldn’t have a problem with that. “So, what you got for me?” Matt asks, looking at the drinks in front of him.

“Chili hibiscus la paloma. Trust me.” Rick says, with confidence.

“I always do. About drinks anyway.” Matt smirks, carrying the drinks back over to Kelly.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The thing about speciality cocktails is, they’re always stronger than you think and the boys are definitely feeling the effects. The club was so hot, all the people dancing and sweating so they’d dumped their jackets at the coat check two drinks ago.

“Come on. I wanna dance.” Matt whines to Kelly yet again.

“I’m not stopping you.” Kelly tells him but his resolve is breaking when Matt gives him this pleading puppy dog look. Kelly isn’t a dancer but dancing with Matt like the rest of the club is, he’s not so sure that’s a good idea. Looking around the dance floor, everyone’s pressed up against someone, grinding their bodies together, it’s borderline pornographic. The coloured strobe lights passing over their sweaty bodies making everybody appear to glisten.

“Please, Kelly. I wanna dance.” Matt practically begs.

“I don’t dance but if you wanna dance, go dance.”

Throwing back the last of his drink, Matt grabs Kelly’s arm saying. “I wanna dance with you.” He drags him over to the dance floor and leads them into the middle so Kelly can’t escape so easy.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It takes Kelly a minute to loosen up and stop feeling like an idiot, he’s kind of jealous of how carefree Matt is, seamlessly moving his body to the music. Matt’s back to Kelly’s chest there’s no space between them as they move together, their bodies completely in sync.

Matt’s heart is pounding against his ribs in time to the baseline of the music playing, he can feel the warmth radiating from Kelly’s body, he can feel the mans breath on his neck, making the hair on his arms stand up. Rolling his hips back against Kelly’s crotch he can definitely feel something pushing back. Kelly’s hands slide down the sides of his chest to get a death grip on his hips and Matt can’t help but moan, his head rolling back to rest on Kelly’s shoulder, both men are panting now. This was really happening and Matt feels a thrill run up his spine.

His breathing’s ragged, Matt’s body pressed so close to his, it’s hot in every sense of the word, Kelly feels like his bloods on fire and and he can hear his own heart pounding. He doesn’t care if anyone’s looking at them, doesn’t care if the whole world stopped and stared because right here, right now it feels as if they’re the only people in the world.

Matt turns in his arms and he looks like the very definition of sex. Kelly’s still gripping the mans hips when Matt wraps a hand around the back of his neck. It’s happening, holy crap it’s really happening, their gonna kiss again. Their lips are so close, maybe only an inch apart when the music suddenly changes. The beat so different it jolts them out of the moment both mentally and physically, someone bumping into them and knocking them apart.

The moment’s over and Kelly clears his throat before shouting over the music to say. “I’ll get us another drink.”

“Yeah, I gotta go the bathroom.” Matt shouts back to him.

Walking in opposite directions Kelly rubs his neck where Matt’s hand just was and he swears his skin is hotter there, a tingle running just under the tissue.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Drinks in hand Kelly’s looking around the club for Matt, he’s not back at their table and Kelly’s not sure where else he would be. Scanning the crowd he spots Matt with a group of people and his fists clench so tight he’s surprised the glass doesn’t shatter because there’s Matt chatting up some guy, laughing and smiling but the thing that really pisses Kelly off is the guy has his hand so low on Matt’s back it’s essentially his ass. His blood’s boiling again but for a very different reason now and he can’t take this anymore, dumping the drinks on the nearest surface he storms out of the club.

On his way back from the bathroom Matt literally bumped into an old friend, Jake, the guy who’s running the club. They talk for a minute but you can’t really catch up when the music’s this loud so Jake says he’ll call him tomorrow and they can get coffee or something, catch up properly. Looking around the club he can’t find Kelly anywhere, he should have the drinks by now but their table’s been taken, full of people he doesn’t recognise and Kelly’s not at the bar.

“Hey, Rick!” He calls to the bartender. “Have you seen Kelly? The guy I’m here with.”

“Yeah, he got two beers but then I saw him running out of here. You guys get into it or something?”

“I gotta go. Thanks.” Matt says before turning to run out of the club.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Getting outside the shock of the cold seems to sober Matt up, Chicago in February and inside a busy nightclub, are radically different temperatures.

“Marcus, did you see where Kelly went?” Matt asks as he pulls his jacket on, grateful that Marcus was still outside.

“Uh, he busted out of there and jumped in cab. Everything alright?”

“No, I gotta get home.” Matt says frantically searching his pockets for his phone.

Marcus hails him a cab and Matt jumps in, finally finding his phone he tries to text and call Kelly but he’s not picking up. What happened, did Kelly get a message that someone was hurt or something happened? No, they knew pretty much all the same people and Kelly wouldn’t have left without him, he would have at least said something. Was it that they almost kissed? Had Kelly freaked out about it or something because he was definitely into it in the moment. Damn it, that has to be it, he must have freaked out and ran. Matt couldn’t think of anything else it could be.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Throwing money at the cab driver Matt sprints into the building and not waiting for the elevator he bounds up the stairs. He had to fix this, he didn’t care if they kissed or if they were just friends but he has to fix this right now, it can’t wait. He can’t mess this up and lose Kelly, not again, he couldn’t take it. His heart’s pounding as he reaches the top floor, adrenaline pumping he can even hear the blood rushing in his head. Throwing the apartment door open he calls the mans name but Kelly’s just pacing the living room with a tumbler of whiskey in hand.

“What the hell was that?” Matt yells, slamming the door closed behind him as anger he didn’t know he had bubbles over.

Kelly takes a drink, his voice cold as he says. “What, you mean you batting your eyelashes at anything with a dick?”

“What?” Matt asks, completely thrown by what felt like an accusation.

“I saw you! One second your dancing and grinding against me and the next you’re with some guy who’s got his hands all over your ass!”

Matt doesn’t even know what to say to that, taken aback by the anger in Kelly’s voice. He needs to stay calm if he’s gonna get through to Kelly. Before he can say anything Kelly takes a massive gulp of whiskey and his voice runs cold again as he lets out a hollow chuckle and says.

“You know, I don’t know how I never saw it before but you’re a slut.”

The look of hurt on Matt’s face makes his blood run cold, so this is what instant regret feels like. He didn’t actually just say that did he, he didn’t mean it. He had to say something to fix this but it’s like he’s frozen to the spot, he can’t move and he can’t find the words to fix this, his voice paralysed.

That word, slut, he’s been called that before but it never hurt him. Not until it came from Kelly’s mouth and it cuts like a knife. A long silence hangs between them before Matt very calmly and with no emotion in his voice explains.

“That guy. Is straight, happily married with two kids and he’s my friend. Something I thought you were but if that’s what you think of me. Then I’ll come pick up my stuff tomorrow.”

Matt turning to leave, kicks him into motion and Kelly runs across the room calling his name but it’s no use, he doesn’t reach him in time and Matt slams the door in his face. Banging his head against the door, Kelly turns back to the dark, empty, lonely room and throws his glass against the wall screaming. “Shit!”

His fist cocked, he’s about to punch the wall when instead it hits him that this is his fault and he deserves the pain. He hurt Matt, he swore he’d never do that again. Never say anything that cold and untrue to him again but he did. All the things he said after Andy died were nothing compared to that, he could see it on face, Kelly had just crossed a line he couldn’t come back from. The thing he feared most had happened, he just lost Matt forever. With that realisation he drops onto the couch and curls into the fetal position, when he feels the tears coming he doesn’t fight it, just lets them fall, the drops running across his face and soaking into the cushion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was harsh I know. Don’t fight it, let the emotions out, this is safe space. And you have permission to call me every name in the book because yeah that was cruel. (BUT I do have a plan to fix it. A happy ending was promised and a happy ending you will get.)


	13. Day eighteen - (Off Shift 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
> 
> THIS IS THE AFTERMATH OF KELLY'S STUPIDITY!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Can he fix it????????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter was clearly my punishment for the last one. This almost broke me and I'm not exaggerating when I say I've lost sleep over this. It's been bugging me for ages but I couldn't get it right and you guys are so supportive, you deserved better than the 15 or so disjointed and utterly crap draft that came before this. I really hope this lives up to all the love you've shown me.

Kelly hadn’t left the couch all night, he’d let the tears fall until he all but passed out. Waking up again around sunrise, at least he’d managed to get a few hours of restless sleep, sitting up Kelly’s back and neck are stiff, tension and stress invading his entire body, sleeping on the couch probably didn’t help either. He had to fix this, there had to be a way, Kelly knows how bad it is, how far over the line he was and how hurt Matt was but still there had to be a way.

Matt said he’d come back for his stuff today, so Kelly wasn’t leaving this apartment until they talked. What he’d said, it wounded Matt and Kelly has a pretty good idea how deep it goes. Matt’s always the first to think the worst of himself but the thing about a wound is, if you get to it fast enough it can be patched up and healed, a faint scar being the only reminder that it was ever there but if it’s left to fester, it gets infected and that can be fatal. Kelly’s not gonna let that happen again, it’s not gonna be like when Andy died, not speaking or only arguing for months, he won’t let it. He has to fix this, once Matt gets here, Kelly’s not letting him leave until this is sorted out one way or another.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A little hungover, too tense to eat and running on a full pot of coffee, Kelly has cleaned up the glass he broke last night, tidied and cleaned half the apartment, taken the fastest shower of his life, afraid he’d miss Matt and now he’s pacing in the living room yet again. If this keeps up he might actually have to buy a new rug, kind of surprised he hadn’t paced a hole into it by now. All this and Matt still hadn’t shown up yet, Kelly wonders where he slept last night but realises he might not like the answer to that question. It doesn’t matter, this is all his fault anyway. Kelly’s weighing the pros and cons of making more coffee, it’s something to do but he’s wired enough already. Hearing a key in the door, Kelly’s frozen to the spot once more, he’d thought of a thousand things to say to him but now that Matt’s actually here he can’t remember a single one.

Matt had closed the door behind him before he saw Kelly standing in the living room and he didn’t look much better than Kelly, bags under his eyes like he hasn’t slept and shoulders slumped, not the usual confident man Kelly knows him to be. A long silence hangs between them before Matt breaks it. 

“I thought you’d be at the boat.” There’s no emotion to his voice, Kelly opens his mouth to speak but Matt beats him to it. “I just came to get my stuff. Don’t worry, you won’t have to live with a ‘slut’ anymore.” Matt spits that word out like venom and it hurts Kelly more than if he’d just punched him in the face and Kelly kind of wishes he had instead.

The only words Kelly can get out are. “Matt, I’m so sorry.”

Matt just scoffs, rolling his eyes as he heads for his bedroom. Kelly chases after him, he has no idea how but he has to get Matt to listen to him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Matt’s pulling clothes from his closet and shoving them into a duffle bag on his bed.

“Casey, please. Just listen to me, one minute.” Kelly pleads with him. Matt lashes the shirt in his hand onto the bed and rounds on Kelly with fury in his eyes.

“Listen to what? How it’s different for a guy to fuck around with girls.” Matt says moving closer to him with every word and getting in Kelly’s face, who backs up not wanting this to get physical. “But if a guy fucks around with guys, he’s a slut. I’ve heard it before!” Matt yells and anger bubbles up in Kelly, he wanted to track down and kick the ass of whoever had said that to him before but that would have to wait because Matt isn’t done tearing him a new one. Matt shoves Kelly, his back hitting the wall as Matt spits out. “You hypocritical asshole, you’ve fucked half the women in Chicago!”

Kelly can’t rise to it, he has to stay calm or this is all over forever. “I know and I’m sorry. Matt I –”

Casey scoffs again and turns back to packing. “Is that all you’re gonna say ‘I’m sorry’ because if it is then just get the hell out, I’ll be gone in five minutes.”

“Matt, you’re not listening to me.” Kelly pleads.

“Fine. What do you want to say? Something else you wanna call me?” Matt asks sarcastically as he continues packing, not even stopping to look at him, so Kelly grabs the shoes from Matt’s hands and throws them across the room.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Well, Kelly has his attention now. Taking a breath, he has to bring this down before it gets out of hand. “Matt, I regretted it the second I said it. You react to things with sex and I know that, I lash out, you know that too. You know me, you have to know I didn’t mean it. I didn’t even think it, it just came out.”

Matt stills for a moment, taking in what Kelly had just said before he lets out a hollow chuckle. “You didn’t think. You didn’t mean it. I know you. What? What the hell am I supposed to do with that? What are you reacting to? I don’t even understand what’s going on anymore. One second you’re right there and you look at me like –” Matt can’t even find the words to describe the way Kelly was looking at him not twelve hours ago. “And the next, your miles away, running off to the boat and avoiding me.” Matt’s not yelling at him anymore and somehow it’s worse, a sad and broken tone creeping into his voice. “I don’t know what’s happening but I think we need some space, I’m moving out.”

“No, No, Matt. Please, don’t go.” Kelly takes the bag off the bed and tosses it across the room with everything else he’d already thrown.

“Kelly.” Matt breathes, exhausted.

“Matt, please. We can fix this, I know we can.”

“I can’t go through this again.” Matt’s voice breaks like he’s on the edge of tears. “The tension, the fighting. I gotta step away and only see you at work.”

“No, Matt. It’s gonna be okay. I can fix this.”

“Stop saying that!” Matt yells frustrated and Kelly can see a tear forming in the corner of his eye. “Fix, what? Look at us, Kelly. You’re not even acting like yourself anymore. You asked me to listen to you but you haven’t said anything. Tell me the truth. What’s going on?”

Kelly stutters over his words, he doesn’t know how to actually say this out loud. How he’s feeling, what Matt does to him, how the thought of losing him makes him feel broken and small. When Kelly says nothing, Matt sighs moving around the bed to get the stuff Kelly had thrown out of his way.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Matt’s really doing it, he’s about to walk out of Kelly’s life, forever. Kelly can’t take it and something inside him snaps, the wall that was stopping him from telling Matt the truth crumbles and Kelly feels lighter for it. Grabbing Matt’s shoulder, Kelly pulls him back and pushes him against the wall to hold him in place so he can find the right words to make Matt listen to him. Matt was taken by surprise and doesn’t fight him, yet, but Kelly only has a moment to say something before that would change.

“I can’t lose you, Matt.” Kelly croaks, his own voice close to breaking now too.

“I don’t wanna lose you either but I have to do this.” Matt almost whispers, a single tear running down his cheek.

Kelly dips his head, unable to look at the pain in Matt’s eyes as he says this. His wall may be broken, that doesn’t mean he magically knows how to communicate but he’s gonna try. “I was jealous and scared and I didn’t know how to tell you –” Kelly clears his throat, the words getting stuck. He wants to say it, he has to, it’s now or never but that didn’t mean it was any easier for him. Matt cups Kelly’s cheek, lifting his head to make him look him in the eye again.

“Just tell me.” Matt begs, needing to hear the truth, no matter what it was.

“I didn’t know how to tell you, how much you mean to me. How glad I am that you’re a part of my life. How I don’t know where I’d be without you. I can’t stand the idea of losing you. I want you, Matt.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Suddenly aware of how close they’re standing, Kelly can feel everything, Matt’s hands on his cheek, the texture of the walls under his hands, Matt boxed in between his arms, the heat radiating from Matt’s body. The colour of his eyes, the conflict of emotion running behind them, the few freckles by his nose. His lips, the lips he’s kissed, how soft they are, how close they are to his own. Kelly takes a chance, leaning in for a hesitant kiss, it’s sweet and gentle and for just moment Matt kisses him back before he rips them apart and hits Kelly in the chest and yelling at him.

“No, you don’t get to kiss me and make it all just go away! It doesn’t work like that!”

“I know, I know that and I’ll do whatever it takes for as long as it takes, to prove to you just how sorry I am. I know that I can’t take it back or make it magically disappear. I hate myself for saying it and for how much I hurt you.” Kelly hopes that Matt can feel how sincere he is right now, taking a deep breath he continues talking while Matt still lets him. “We had a moment in that club and I know you felt it too. I should’ve just grabbed you and kissed you.”

“Why didn’t you?” If he’s getting the truth, then Matt wants it all.

“I don’t know.”

“Kelly.” Matt says in a warning tone, he wasn’t gonna take anymore half-truths or unanswered questions and Kelly knew that.

“I was scared. Crossing a line like that. What if it went wrong and I lost you?”

“I was scared too but I still wanted to kiss you. You pulled away first, went to get us drinks and after I kissed you last time.” Matt takes a breath, he’s struggling with this whole telling the truth thing too but if he’s making Kelly do it then he figures he has to as well. “I didn’t want you to think it was the drink or that I was just using you to scratch an itch. And I didn’t think the great Kelly Severide would have a problem making a move.” Matt looks down this time, self-doubt creeping in on him again, he didn’t want to look at Kelly as he said this. “I thought maybe you weren’t interested in me like that.”

Kelly makes Matt look up at him this time, looking him in the eye he tells him. “Of course I am and I always have been. Even if I didn’t know it yet.” There’s a beat of silence between them, it could have been a second, it could have been five minutes, Kelly can’t tell anymore but he is sure of something. “I’m not waiting anymore.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kelly kisses Matt, all traces of hesitation long gone and Matt kisses him back, not pulling away but this time deepening the kiss, wrapping a hand around Kelly’s neck to pull him closer. All the tension, pining and sexual tension that had been building between them is suddenly set free in a passionate kiss both men holding onto each other so tight and pulling them closer together, almost like they were afraid it was a dream.

Kelly slides his legs between Matt’s, giving him some friction and making him moan. As soon as their lips separate Kelly moves to attack Matt’s neck as the man wraps his arms even tighter around him.

“Matt, tell me this is what you want.” Kelly asks in his ear even as he’s still kissing his neck, he needed to hear Matt say it before this went any further and was just another thing they would regret.

Matt’s fingers curl in Kelly’s hair, panting he says. “I want this, Kelly. I want you.” His heart feels like it’s about to beat out of his chest, they’re so close together he can feel every inch of Kelly. Including his dick pressing against his thigh, he needs this, he wants this and they are wearing way too many clothes. Matt fixes this, grabbing the bottom of Kelly’s shirt he pulls it off tosses it aside.

Once Kelly’s shirt hits the floor, it’s like a race to get their clothes off as fast as possible. Standing naked in front of each other, neither of them can believe this is really happening. Finally. Kelly wraps his arms around Matt and kisses him with everything he’s got, sliding his hands down the man’s body, all the way to his ass. Palming and squeezing the perfect flesh, Matt moans into his mouth and wraps his arms around Kelly’s neck walking him backwards towards the bed. Matt pushes Kelly back onto the bed and climbs on top of him to straddle his thighs, looking into Kelly’s eyes he asks.

“Are we really doing this?” It all feels like a dream and they maybe should have talked more before getting naked but this had been building for so long now.

“If it’s what you want.” Kelly says sitting up and wrapping a hand around the back of Matt’s neck, looking into the man’s eyes he says. “All I know is, I want you, in every way and for as long as you’ll put up with me. I love you, Matt.”

A tear rolls down Matt’s cheek as he says. “I love you too, Kelly.” Kelly wipes away the tear with his thumb and kisses where it was, Matt tilts his head to join their lips, it’s sweet and gentle and just so full of love.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They’d shuffled up the bed, Kelly still sitting up, leaning against the headboard with Matt in his lap as they make out like a couple of teenagers. Their erections had flagged a little, further proof that men can only handle one emotion at a time. But things don’t take long to get heated again, Kelly touching and kissing Matt everywhere he can reach and Matt rolling his hips against Kelly’s dick. Kelly’s hands slide down Matt’s chest to his hips, gripping tight and guiding him as if they were having sex and Matt can’t help but groan.

“Kelly, I want you inside me.” Matt moans in Kelly’s ear, making him groan as his hips buck up and he tightens the grip on Matt’s hips. There’s not enough blood left in his brain to think clearly but Kelly still knows they need lube a condom.

“Where –” Kelly doesn’t even finish the doesn’t finish the question before Matt’s grabbing exactly what they need from his bedside table.

Kelly takes the lube from Matt and slicks up his fingers, reaching back behind Matt and circling his hole a few times.

“Don’t tease me.” Matt huffs in his ear and Kelly slides a single finger all the way inside him, Matt lets out a gasp as his eyes flutter shut and it’s just about the most beautiful thing Kelly’s ever seen. He’s pretty sure he just found a new mission in life, finding every single noise, moan, groan and facial expression he could pull out of Matt’s body.

Matt’s body is humming, so turned on he’s practically shaking as Kelly painstaking slowly opens him up. He swears it’s almost like Kelly’s doing it on purpose, teasing him, like he’s looking for something from him but damn he had to admit this feels amazing right now. Every time Matt pushes back against the fingers inside him, Kelly squeezes his hip with his free hand and slows down the fingers inside him, bastard was definitely teasing him and avoiding his prostate on purpose.

Seeing Matt like this was even better than he could have imagined, straddling his lap, a thin layer of sweat making him glisten, breathing heavy and letting out the most beautiful moans, every now and then pushing back on his fingers but Kelly wants to make this last. Adding a third finger Matt lets out this strangled moan that sounds sort of like his name and Kelly thinks he’s teased him enough, for now. Purposefully rubbing against his prostate, Matt moans, grabbing Kelly’s shoulders and hiding his face in his neck. Kelly rubs his back and tells him.

“Don’t hide baby. I wanna hear you, I wanna see you. You’re beautiful.”

Matt blushes at Kelly’s words and whines at the loss of his fingers as he pulls them out. Kelly puts a condom on and adds a little more lube before Matt takes hold of his cock and lines them up, slowly sinking down until he has all of Kelly inside him, Matt feels so full.

They both take a second to adjust, Kelly’s hands holding Matt’s hips and his hands on Kelly’s chest to keep himself steady. Kelly has no illusions that their first time will last very long, this had been building for so long and seeing Matt like this, he definitely won’t be able to hold back for much longer.

Matt leans back a little to find the perfect angle and starts slow, shallow thrusts as he builds a rhythm.

“Kelly, I don’t know how long I can hold on.” Matt pants.

“Me too.” Kelly agrees. He pulls Matt in for a passionate kiss and in a deep voice that surprises himself he says. “Take what you need baby.”

Those words spark something in Matt and he rides Kelly for all he’s got. What happens next is a blur of tongue and teeth and hands roaming everywhere they can reach, so intense as the two men build up to their peak. When Kelly can’t hold back any longer he reaches for Matt’s so far neglected cock and it doesn’t take more than three strokes before both men are cumming hard together.

Staying wrapped up in each other, Kelly comes back to earth to find himself kissing Matt, it’s messy, not quite lining up right but neither man cares as they come down together. After cleaning up a little they get back into bed and Matt cuddles up to Kelly’s side, they’re both drifting off into a post bliss sleep when Matt mumbles.

“You know where gonna have to talk about this, right?”

“I know, but let’s get some sleep first.”

“Deal.” Matt says on a yawn and as they drift off to sleep in each other’s arms, Kelly knows this is something he would never regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so out of practice writing smut, please let me know if it’s terrible.


	14. Day eighteen, part 2 - (Off Shift 2) BONUS CHAPTER!!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BONUS CHAPTER!!!!! Not part of my original plan but too long to add to last chapter. 
> 
> Matt and Kelly spending the day together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not 100% proofread, I’ve read it too many times so if there’s a mistake or something that doesn’t make sense just let me know in the comments and I can fix it.

Waking up Matt feels like he’s living a dream but the warm body at his back and the strong arms around his waist reminds him that it’s not. He feels calm and sated, the itch he’d been feeling since the fire was gone and everything felt so perfect that it was a little terrifying, but something was telling him, this is right and it would all work out. Threading his fingers in-between Kelly’s and looking at their joined hands, Matt can’t help but remember how those hands felt holding him tight, Kelly always did have a way of making him feel safe. Those fingers, how they felt teasing him, inside him, opening him up with so much care and attention, like Kelly was mapping out every sweet spot on his body, searching for every moan and groan he was capable of making.

Just a few hours ago Matt had been in a state of emotional and sensory overload, the 180 his emotions had taken since he walked through the front door alone would have been enough but then he finally had Kelly in the way he wanted him and not just physically but emotionally. Kelly had shown him true vulnerability and love, he’d even said those words, Kelly had told him, he loved him and Matt could feel it, he could see it in his eyes.

Thinking back over the last few weeks, it all made sense now, what Kelly said had hurt him but now Matt could see how he’d been hurting Kelly. He knew that Kelly’s cocky bravado was all a front, a way to keep people at arm’s length because he’s been hurt so many time’s before. The man beneath was sweet and vulnerable and felt things deeply, even if he was afraid to show it. Kelly has a nasty habit of lashing out and saying things he didn’t mean, pushing people away when they try to get behind his walls. He’d seen Kelly do it before, he did it to everyone after Andy died and Matt had done the same thing before too, though never quite as spectacularly as Kelly could do it. They both had bad habits and weren’t great at letting people in, if they were gonna make this work, really make it work, it was going to take a lot of effort from both of them and step one was to stop pushing each other away when things got tough.

“Stop thinking so hard, you’re gonna pull a muscle.” Kelly says, making Matt jump and pulling him from his thoughts.

“How long have you been awake?”

“I don’t know, how long have you been wriggling that tight ass into me?” Kelly emphasises his words by grinding his morning wood into Matt’s ass.

Matt rolls over to face Kelly and with a featherlight touch, traces his fingertips down Kelly’s side all the way to his hip, while saying. “Well, maybe I can help you with that.”

A shiver runs down Kelly’s spine and his dick twitches at Matt’s words and the only reasonably response is to crash their lips together in a fiery kiss. Matt rolls Kelly onto his back, pinning him to the bed as he straddles him. Breaking the kiss Matt moves to kiss Kelly’s neck, beginning a trail down his body. This time it’s Matt’s turn to explore Kelly’s body in search of sweet spots, he finds one on his neck that makes Kelly make this breathy gasping sound and he finds out that Kelly has really sensitive nipples. Matt stops and takes his time, using his tongue to tease and even his teeth to lightly graze the stiff bud on one side and his fingers on the other, switching sides before continuing his journey further down Kelly’s body.

Kissing his way down Kelly’s abs, he wraps his hand around the back of Matt’s neck not forcing his head down more grounding and connecting them to the moment. When Matt traces Kelly’s v-lines with his tongue it’s about all he can take, his hips jerking as he throws his head back into the pillow.

“Matt, you’re killing me.” Kelly growls as he tightens his grip on Matt’s neck.

“I’m just getting started.” Matt says with a smirk, his lips inches away from Kelly’s hard dick. Taking Kelly in hand Matt licks a long stripe from base to tip.

“Oh, fuck!” Kelly cries out his hips jerking up again in search of Matt’s warm mouth.

Matt pins Kelly’s hips to the bed, holding him still as he takes his straining cock into his mouth. Sealing his lips just beneath the head and tonguing the slit before popping his lips off, Matt can’t help the smile on his face at all the noises Kelly’s making.

One hand fisted in the sheets, Kelly still has that strong grip on the back of Matt’s neck when he looks down, making eye contact with Matt, his eyes dark and brimming with lust as he takes him back into his mouth and Kelly has to look away or he’s gonna cum way too soon.

Matt’s done teasing and takes as much of Kelly into his warm and wet mouth as he can, bobbing his head and paying extra attention to the tip every few passes. It doesn’t take long before Kelly’s on the edge, squeezing the back of Matt’s neck and trying to warn him.

“Matt, I’m gonna cum.” Kelly chokes out as the muscles in his stomach and thighs start clenching up, the coil in his gut getting tighter as Matt pushes him closer and closer to the edge but Matt doesn’t stop, doesn’t even slow down.

“Matt!” Kelly cries out as fireworks explode behind his eyes and he cums harder and longer than he ever has before, Kelly actually thinks he blacks out for a second because when he comes back to earth Matt’s kissing his neck.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Matt growls into his ear, voice all husky from what he’d just been doing. 

Kelly’s still catching his breath a little and struggling to find his words as he pants. “That was – holy shit!” Kelly rolls them over, pining Matt to the bed and locking their lips together he can taste himself on Matt’s tongue. “You’re incredible.” Even after what Matt just did, Kelly’s words still make him blush a little. “Your turn.” 

“Show me what you got, Severide.” Matt says getting cocky as he wraps his legs around Kelly.

Distracting Matt with a deep kiss Kelly reaches for the lube that’s still on the bedside table from their first round and wastes no time in getting a finger inside Matt. Matt lets out a deep moan and reaches for his rock hard cock but Kelly grabs his wrist and pins it to bed, looking deep into Matt’s eyes he tells him.

“I got you, baby.” Kissing Matt hard and fast, swallowing the moans he lets out when Kelly starts pushing against his prostate. Kelly reaches for Matt’s neglected cock and starts a steady rhythm of long strokes from base to tip, twisting his wrist over the head and back again. Matt wraps his arms around Kelly, clinging onto him with all he’s got and leaving scratch marks down his back.

“Kelly, I’m not gonna last long.” Matt gasps and Kelly adds a second finger inside him as he strokes his cock faster and growls in his ear.

“Cum for me.”

Matt was already rock hard and halfway there when Kelly rolled them over so it only takes a few more strokes before Matt’s back arches up, his eyes scrunch shut and he’s calling Kelly’s name and he cums hard in his hand.

Laying next to each other and kissing lazily as their heartrates come down until Matt says. “We need a shower.”

“Food first, I’m starving.”

“Okay, then you can join me in the shower.” Matt give Kelly one more quick kiss before jumping out of bed and throwing on his boxers as he heads for the kitchen. Kelly’s totally distracted by Matt’s naked body until he calls back. “Come on, I’m hungry.”

They ate a late lunch before hitting the shower together and while in there, Matt may have found himself with his back against the shower wall and legs wrapped around Kelly as they had sex for the third time today.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Getting out of the shower both men are exhausted, it had been a crazy few days and they’d had a lot of sex for only 6 hours. So they collapse on the couch, cuddling up together under a blanket and throwing something on Netflix, Matt’s half asleep as he leans into Kelly and Kelly’s too busy looking at Matt to watch the TV. They’re in pretty much the same position as after the polar plunge, when Kelly was trying to warm Matt up and he can’t help but wonder if all the extra wriggling Matt did that day was intentional or not, so he asks him.

Matt looks up at him through his long eyelashes and says. “Maybe.” Kelly runs his fingertips up Matt’s ribs knowing he’s a little ticklish and watches him squirm. “Alright, alright. I might have been checking, I felt you’re dick twitch but then you ran away again so I had no idea what that meant.” He says with a chuckle but then an awkward silence falls between them.

Kelly drops a kiss on Matt’s shoulder and says. “We still need to talk don’t we.”

“Yeah.” Matt sighs. “We really suck at this part.”

“We do. I guess we kinda skipped a few steps and went straight to sex.”

“Sounds like us.” Matt jokes before sitting up and turning to face Kelly, jumping straight into the things they need to talk about he asks. “What do you want from this?”

“I don’t have a plan of the future, I’m not that person who plans things but I know I want you. I meant what I said, I love you Matt and I think I have for a long time, I was just too scared to see it.”

“Are you still scared?” Matt asks with a hint of worry in his voice.

“Terrified.” Kelly says bluntly yet honestly, pulling Matt into his arms he continues. “But now that I have you, I don’t ever want to let you go. How are you feeling?”

Matt chuckles. “I’m still pretty scared too but this, being with you. It feels right, like it was supposed to happen, like this is where we’re supposed to be.” Their lips meet in a sweet kiss and Matt pulls back slightly to whisper. “I love you too, Kelly.”

Kelly feels a little choked up and he’s more afraid to ask Matt this next question than he ever has been before. “Matt, what I said last night –” But he doesn’t even get to ask it before Matt puts a finger over his lips to stop him talking.

“I forgive you, Kelly. I know you didn’t mean it, I know you were hurting too and that was my fault. I’m sorry.” Matt says his piece and takes his finger off Kelly’s mouth but it takes a second for him to find his voice again.

“You’re sorry? After what I said? Matt, I know how much I hurt you. I saw it on your face, the second I realised what I said – how can you forgive me for that?” Kelly asks and this time he’s pretty sure it’s him that’s gonna cry.

“You said it yourself, I know you. And I can see how sorry you are. When I came back this morning, you could have let me just leave but you didn’t. You made me listen, but this can’t happen again, we can’t keep pushing each other away, not if we want to stay together.”

“I want us to stay together.” Kelly takes a breath before adding. “This isn’t gonna be easy is it?”

“I doubt it.” Matt hadn’t realised how tight he was holding onto Kelly, almost like he was afraid if he let go then it would all just disappear.

“How about we take this one day at a time?” Kelly suggests holding onto Matt just as tight as he was.

“That sounds good. Do we tell the house about any of this?”

“Uh, Kidd may already know a little.”

“What?” Matt asks confused.

“Yeah, that woman’s got some crazy witch level intuition. She corned me and told me, I liked you.”

“Okay, so maybe we tell Kidd but I don’t think we should tell everyone, not yet at least. We need to figure out the day to day crap first.”

“Sounds like we’ve got a plan.” Kelly says with a smile.

“I’m so tired.” Matt says on a yawn. “I barely slept last night.”

“Where did you go last night?” Kelly asks curiously.

“I went to Rick’s, the bartender. He’s an old friend, I just crashed on his couch.” Matt tells him and Kelly was relived, if Matt had hooked up with someone it would have been his own fault but it still would’ve hurt and Kelly had no reason to believe Matt would lie to him about it.

“I slept on the couch too, not that I got much sleep.”

“Well, why don’t we put the stupidest thing on Netflix and spend the rest of the day right here.”

“That sounds damn good.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So that’s exactly what they did, spending the rest of the day snuggled up in front of the tv, reheating some leftover pizza for dinner before going to bed, together. Laying next to each other in the dark, the faint streetlight coming in through the blinds, Kelly can’t help but look at Matt as he sleeps, he’s so relaxed, so peaceful, so beautiful. Kelly couldn’t believe it, he’d gotten everything he ever wanted, even after he thought he’d lost it all. He’d never let himself be that stupid again, to hurt Matt ever again, he was too precious to him. Kelly has this feeling he’s never had before, he wants to be worthy of Matt, be what he deserves, be a good man.

Last night Kelly fell asleep thinking his world was over and he’d destroyed everything, tonight he has the man he loved and the man that loves him, in his arms and the whole world made sense. It’s funny how much can change in a day. Kelly falls into a deep and peaceful sleep and for the first time in weeks Matt doesn’t have a single nightmare, sleeping soundly in Kelly’s embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUESTION!!!!! I’ve been wracking my brain and I can’t think of anything. So, question for you all. What would be the perfect gift for Matt to give Kelly????


	15. Day nineteen - (On Shift)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some days just don't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your gift suggestions, really helped me and I always love hearing from you guys. Xx 
> 
> I'm really not 1000% sure about this chapter, took a few turns I didn't expected so pleaseeeeee let me know what you think.

Matt can’t remember the last time he woke up feeling this well rested, stretching out his back before opening his eyes to see Kelly still sleeping soundly next to him and even snoring a little. Chuckling to himself Matt rolls over to check the time and that’s when the peace of the morning shatters and the day begins its long slide downhill.

“Ah, late! Late!” Matt yells, swatting at Kelly who only grumbles back at him. “Kelly wake up!”

“Urgh, what – what’s going on?” He asks groggily as Matt jumps out of bed and yanks the covers off of him.

“We didn’t set the alarm! Move your ass or we’re gonna be late.”

Kelly’s eyes fall on the alarm clock and then practically bug out of his head. “Oh, shit!”

Both men kick into high gear, running around the apartment getting washed and throwing their station gear straight on knowing they didn’t have time to change at the house, grabbing their work bags they skip the elevator, running down the stairs and jumping into Kelly’s car and all in record time.

Bursting through the firehouse doors they almost run straight into Boden and from the folder in his hand it looks like he was about to start the morning briefing and roll call which means technically, technically they weren’t late yet.

“Oh, sorry, Chief.” Kelly apologises as they bump shoulders.

“Running a little late this morning, gentlemen?” Chief asks the rhetorical question, looking over his glasses in true parental fashion.

“Sorry about that, won’t happen again, Chief.” Casey apologises for them both.

“Well come on, get your asses in the briefing room.”

Following Boden into the room they both have to suppress a chuckle as they move to stand at the back and dump their bags on the floor.

“Morning, everyone.” Chief begins the meeting and lets them know what’s going on today.

“And that’s it for today. You all are dismissed.” Boden finishes the brief and as soon as the words are out of his mouth the bells go off.

**_‘Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61. Multiple vehicle accident.’_ **

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Getting back from the call Casey and Severide grab their bags and head for the locker room. Catching Matt’s arm Kelly pulls him over to by his locker and their bags on the bench.

“What’s up?” Matt asks him confused.

Kelly looks around, checking their alone before pulling Matt in for a kiss. “I didn’t get a chance to kiss you this morning.”

“I know, but here?” Matt says, looking around the room himself.

“I wasn’t gonna wait 24 hours.” Kelly says with that smile of his that’s equal parts cocky, cheeky and sexy all at the same time.

“Huh, fair point. Maybe just one more.” Matt says pulling Kelly in for another kiss.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Meanwhile the ladies of 51 are gathering for another strategic meeting in operation Sevasey as Brett had dubbed it.

“We need to find out what happened at the club.” Foster says to Kidd as they head for the ambo to meet Brett.

“Yeah, but how? I’ve been talking to Kelly for weeks now and trying to get details out him is like getting blood from a stone.” Stella says, as she’s tying her hair up but the band snaps. Holding the snapped band up to show Foster she says. “Ah, dammit. I got more in my locker, I’ll meet you at the ambo.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Back in the locker room, one more kiss had turned into about a dozen more and they were lost in the moment. Matt backed up to the lockers, a hand on Kelly’s neck and the other wrapped around his back, Kelly’s got one hand on Matt’s hip and the other on his waist. Matt break the kiss yet again and breathlessly says.

“We need to stop.” Though once again neither man pulls away and their lips meet once more.

“Yeah, we should.” Kelly says, just as breathless as Matt. They try to pull away but like magnets their lips just keep getting draw together.

“We’re gonna get caught.” Matt says practically into Kelly’s mouth their lips still touching.

“I know, just one more.” Kelly pants and he honestly didn’t mean to, his body is acting against his better judgement at this point, he rolls his hips, grinding their half hard cocks together making them both moan into the other’s mouth. They were so caught up in this beautiful moment they didn’t hear the footsteps but they couldn’t miss Kidd’s voice when she cries out.

“Hallelujah!”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Heading for her locker Kidd stops in her tracks, nearly falling over her feet as she walks in on the two officers attached at the lips and what happens next was not planned and is totally involuntary and she’s as surprised as they are when she hears her own voice as she yells.

“Hallelujah!”

Jumping apart Casey and Severide look like two deer in headlights.

“I knew it!” She shouts a little over excited and louder than intended.

“Stella, you can’t say a word!” Kelly tells her in his most authoritative voice

“I won’t but I need details.” She says still a little too loud.

“Will you both be quiet before the entire house comes in here.” Matt says through gritted teeth.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Stella says a lot quieter. “But come on, this is amazing. When did this happen?”

Before the boys can say anything they hear another voice from behind them.

“What is happening?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Like a horror movie the three of them slowly turn to see Otis standing behind them, looking like he just got electrocuted. In a state of shock his head snaps back and forth between the two officer’s with their messed up hair, half untucked shirts and kiss pink lips.

“How? When? What is happening!” Otis’s voice gets louder with every word and the three of them share a knowing look, they needed to get this under control and a hell of a lot quieter or they really would have the whole house in here.

Rushing Otis, Casey gets a hand over his mouth and the three of them drag him over to the showers, all piling into a cubicle, Kidd closes the curtain behind them. Garbled shouts coming from behind Casey’s hand as Otis freaks out.

“Otis, shhh!” Casey hisses and Otis takes some deep breaths through his nose, trying to settle himself even as his eyes keep darting between the two men. “Yes. Yes.” Matt confirms that Otis did in fact see what he thought he just saw before slowly removing his hand just in case he starts yelling again.

“You and – and you?” Otis asks, still in a state of shock.

“Yes.” Severide takes this one.

“How? When?” Otis’s volume has come down but he’s still freaking out.

“I would like to know that also.” Stella throws in from the behind them, Severide just turns to give her a look that says, ‘not now’.

“Yesterday, but that’s not important. Otis, what is important is you, cannot, tell, anyone.” Casey says seriously, Otis is the biggest gossip in the house, if they don’t get through to him it’s all over before it even began.

“This is huge!” Otis yells, his volume escalating again and this time Kelly’s hand snaps over his mouth.

“Otis, listen to me. It’s not a big deal. Just pretend you don’t know anything.” Kelly tries to get through to him.

“But it is a big deal. I have to tell someone!” Otis actually tries to push past them, he barely gets an inch before they have him pinned against the wall as he struggles against them.

“Otis!” Matt shouts, actually getting his attention for a second. “Please, you know that both of us suck at this stuff. We don’t want to tell everyone yet, it only just happened. I’m sorry you saw that but please, promise you won’t tell.” He practically begs, a last attempt of keeping Otis’s silence on the subject and it looks like it might be working. Otis looks conflicted as his eyes bounce between them and with a whine he says.

“All right. This is unbelievable. I mean, it’s great for you and I guess it kind of makes sense. I just wish I hadn’t seen it.” Otis rambles, his mind going a mile a minute.

“Makes two if us.” Kelly sighs. “Otis we need to know we can trust you to keep your mouth shut.”

“I won’t say a word.” Otis says a little too quickly and Casey shoots him a look. “I’ll really, really try.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

That’s about as good as it was gonna get, they let Otis go and he runs away like a scared little bunny rabbit. Matt and Kelly slump against the walls letting out a sigh, Stella sits on one of the fold out chairs they keep in there and crosses her legs, waiting for her explanation because she was going to get details.

“You know he’s gonna tell someone, right.” She points out.

“Oh, yeah. Only a matter of time.” Kelly sighs, rubbing his brow.

“Otis sucks at keeping secrets. Why did it have to be him?” Matt says as he paces up and down.

“Why were you two getting it on in a communal area?” Stella gets sassy with them which earns her a glare from both of them.

“Stella, don’t start and you can’t say anything either.” Kelly warns, pointing a finger at her.

Holding her hands up in surrender she stands and starts backing away. “Wouldn’t dream of it. I just came to get something from my locker.” Calm as she can, Stella gets when she came in for and leaves the room but the second she’s clear she sprints for the ambo. That may not have been the time to get details but she wasn’t gonna let it go and she’d already seen enough to share with the girls. They didn’t count as telling anyone, they already knew a little already and there’s no way she can keep this to herself, she’ll explode.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“We’re so screwed. It’s not even lunch and two people know already.” Kelly says frustrated, running fingers through his hair.

“What do we do? Tell everyone?” Matt suggest, looking for an answer.

“I thought you wanted to wait.”

“I did but now it’s out there. Kidd won’t tell everyone but Otis might.”

“I’m sorry. This is my fault.” Kelly apologises, pulling Matt into his arms.

“It’s not your fault. I wasn’t gonna last 24 hours either.”

“What are you thinking?” Kelly asks, seeing the conflict behind Matt’s eyes.

“I don’t know. I know how I feel about you. I can’t imagine anyone having a problem with this, us. But everyone knowing – it puts pressure on this and neither of us are good at relationships.”

Pulling Matt in closer and holding him tight Kelly drops a kiss on his forehead and whispers in his ear. “I don’t know what’s going to happen today but I do know it’s all gonna be okay.”

“How?” Matt mumbles into his shoulder.

“Because I love you.”

Matt pulls back to look into Kelly’s eyes. “Since when do you know the right thing to say.” They share a chuckle and Matt leans in for one more kiss and this time it actually was. “Come on, we gotta get out of here before someone comes looking and I haven’t even had coffee yet.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Otis is trying, he’s really trying not to saying but Cruz already knows he knows something, damn it they know each other so well, he’d barely known for ten minutes when Joe walked up to him and said, ‘you know something.’, and he’d hesitated, that was enough and now Cruz won’t stop asking him what he knows, he’s so bad with secrets and he’s really trying to keep this one but if Joe keeps asking he knows he’ll crack. He’s been watching Casey and Severide closely all day, aside from the longing looks from across the room they were managing to act pretty normal but there’s definitely a tension to their bodies, he’s not sure if it’s because they have to act normal or if they’re waiting for him to say something.

This was crazy, Casey and Severide a couple, are they couple, maybe it was just sex, oh that’s not something he wants to think about. It kind of makes sense though, they’ve always been close but he’s close with Cruz and that was most definitely just friends. He didn’t even know they were gay or bi at least, Casey’s been engaged before and Severide’s slept with half of Chicago. He needs to find something to do, to stop his head from spinning out or he really is gonna end up saying something by accident. Walking out to the rigs he sees Kidd whispering with Brett and Foster, she told!, so all the girls know. This is not gonna stay a secret long.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The house sits down for dinner and Cruz sits next to Otis, he knows something, he can see it in his eyes. Usually Otis can’t keep a secret to save his life but he’s keeping this one, which just means it’s gotta be good and he’s gonna get it out of him before end of shift.

“Otis, you okay buddy?” Cruz asks as casual as he can.

“I’m fine, why?”

“You look a little pale. Don’t you think Tony?” Cruz had told Capp and Tony that Otis knows something, everyone knows Otis can’t keep a secret so they teamed up to get it out of him.

“Yeah, he does. You sure there isn’t something you wanna get off your chest?” Tony joins in.

“No. Nothing.” Otis says starting to sweat, what the hell is Joe up to? Severide’s sat with Casey and Boden at the other end of the table and glaring at him. Now he’s not gonna say anything, he can do this.

“Otis, keeping secrets is bad for you. You should share, you’ll feel better.” Cruz says in an overly caring voice.

“I – I don’t know anything.”

“Cruz, what the hell are you doing?” Herrmann asks as he joins them at the table.

“Otis, knows something and he won’t tell.”

“What are you five?”

“Herrmann, when does Otis ever keep a secret?” Cruz pauses a second to let that sink in and he can practically see the gears moving in his head. “So, it’s gotta be good.”

“All right, Otis. Spill it.”

“Not you too, Herrmann.” Otis whines. “I don’t know anything.”

“Yes, you do. You’re sweating and your eye’s doing that twitching thing.” Herrmann points out and the rest of the room is slowly starting to pay attention.

Severide looks like he’s about to kill him, Casey looks like he’s about to throw up and Otis is praying that the bells go off. “I don’t know anything and – and even if I did, it’s not mine to tell.” Oh, no, here comes the rambling, if he’s gonna let it slip it’ll be now.

Casey and Severide are between a rock and a hard place, if they intervene everyone’s gonna figure out that Otis knows something about them but if they do nothing Otis is about ten seconds away from saying it anyway, before they can do anything Boden intervenes.

“All right. I am trying to eat my dinner here. Otis, spit it out or everyone shut up.”

All eyes fall on Otis and he feels like he’s having a heart attack, stumbling over words he has no idea what to say to make them all stop. Casey is almost green by this point and Severide is slowly turning red. “I – uh, it’s – uhm, no. No, it’s not for me to say. It’s just, uhm that.”

“Otis!” Cruz yells, snapping him out of it.

“Otis, I will kill you.” Severide growls from the top of the table, his grip practically bending the spoon in his hand. All eyes in the room look at Severide and then slowly turn back to Otis.”

“Oh, for the love of god.” Chief says to himself.

The room is silent, it’s never been this quiet in here before, never. He tries not to he really does, trying to swallow the words but it’s no use.

“Casey and Severide are sleeping together!”

He spits out and just like that the room erupts. Severide jumping out of his seat and lunging for him but Tony catches him, him and Casey holding him back. Everyone’s shouting over each other you can’t even make out what they’re saying, you can barely hear Boden as he tries to regain control of the room.

**_Ambulance 61, man down from unknown causes._ **

Now the bells go off, seriously, the room falls quiet as the medics shuffle out and Boden’s the first to speak. Standing up he points to Casey and Severide.

“You two, my office. Now.”

The three of them walk silently to Boden’s office, not saying a word until after they close the door behind them and take a seat, none of them able to make eye contact.

“Explain.” Boden demands.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“They’ve been in there a long time.” Cruz says, breaking the silence in the common room.

“Otis, why did you tell us?” Herrmann scolds.

“What?! You all made me! You know I can’t keep a secret and you pressured me. This is Cruz’s fault, not mine.”

“All right, maybe but I didn’t think you were gonna say that! How do you even know?” Cruz defends.

“I saw – ah, you’re doing it again!”

“Okay, that’s enough. This is none of our business, we should stay out of it.” Kidd intervenes trying to help Otis but that quickly backfires.

“Oh, she already knew!” Herrmann shouts.

“What? I know no more than any of you.”

“Like hell, you need to know everything and if you’re not asking it means you already know.” Herrmann points out.

“Maybe, I know a tiny bit but I don’t know everything.” Kidd’s just digging herself in deeper and she knows it.

“I’m finding this hard to believe. Are we sure this isn’t some kind of joke?” Mouch throws in from the couch. It sounded kind of like a prank but then Casey and Severide weren’t the kind to intentionally share their personal lives, even if it was a joke. 

“Oh, you didn’t see what I saw.” Otis says before he realises. “Dammit.”

“What did you see?” Cruz jumps on the new information.

“He saw them playing tonsil tennis.” Foster says as ambo re-joins the room and Herrmann chokes on his drink, water coming out of his nose and everything. “That’s what Kidd said.” Foster adds when they all stare her down, looking for more details.

“I did not say it like that.”

“Okay, I’m with Mouch. I’m finding this hard to believe.” Herrmann says once he can breathe right again, it just didn’t sound right but at the same time it made perfect sense and that was just confusing.

“No! Men are so obtuse, I just spent weeks dealing with Kelly. I’m not, I’m not doing it again.” Stella snaps and the room falls quiet once more.

“Are you all done?” Boden says from the doorway, surprising them all. “Casey and Severide is personal business, meaning none of yours. Leave it alone, if anyone has a problem with that, you come to my office and we discuss it.”

What Boden was really saying was, yes they are a couple but they don’t want to talk about it and they don’t want you gossiping either so don’t you talk about it, leave it alone and maybe one day when they chose and they’re ready they’ll tell you and if you have a problem with that then you can go through me. Firefighters, it was a whole second language of emotional repression and unspoken feelings. Everyone of course respected this and gave them some space to figure it out, most of them were too busy trapped in their own heads trying to figure it out themselves. Depending on how you looked at it they were either the perfect fit or a volatile combination and no one wanted to be in the middle of that. By next shift Casey and Severide were back to their usual selves and the perfect professionals at work, they made it easy for everyone to look at them the same way that they always had and when they were ready, 51 would be there to remind them that nothing could change the love this family had for both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the last follow on chapter, the final three chapters will be timestamps in the boys relationship.


	16. Day 126 – 4 months, 6 days (June 16th – Off Shift)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First of three timestamps in the boys relationship.   
> (It's almost 50/50 fluff and smut.)

Summer’s here and the boat was finally finished, Boyd the guy Kelly restored the boat for was throwing a BBQ to celebrate and he invited Kelly and Matt to join them. Matt thinks he’s probably happier than Boyd that the boat was finished, that damn thing had taken up way too much of Kelly’s time and attention as far as he was concerned. Time they could have spent together, doing the same thing but in so many different ways. Even after four months they were still in the honeymoon phase and all over each other every chance they got, they’d even fooled around a little at the firehouse recently but the last time they almost got caught by Boden and decided that keeping it in their pants for 24 hours was easier than explaining to Boden that they couldn’t keep it in their pants for 24 hours.

Speaking of 51, their relationship wasn’t something left unspoken or hidden anyway anymore, instead it was out in the open and as suspected no one had a single problem with it, the only time Boden ever got involved was if they had a conflict, work or personal that effected their work, then they all ended up in Boden’s office and it got talked out until resolved. None of them were particularly happy when this happened but they all agreed that their job was too important and Boden had warned them in the beginning that if their relationship ever effected their job in a way he found untenable, then one of them would have to switch shifts.

It took a little longer than Matt expected to be comfortable around 51 as a couple, even at Molly’s. At work they were officers and leaders so it made sense for them to be professional but at the bar Matt just felt uncomfortable for a long time, it’s not like they would ever have a full on make out session in front of everyone but even the small stuff, like when Kelly would put his arm around his waist or just a quick kiss, it always felt like they were being watched. It wasn’t that he wasn’t comfortable or happy with Kelly, he was but 51 was family and it felt like a lot of pressure on their relationship and if something ever went wrong then there would be no way to hide it and everyone would get involved.

On the other side, they both thought it would take longer for them to find their rhythm as a couple, the ins and outs of daily life, communication and all the bigger issues they had to deal with but what Kelly had said about taking things one day at a time, it really worked for them. Day by day and not overthinking they found how they fit together as a couple, by living it and when the bigger stuff came along, they found it wasn’t as hard to deal with as it used to be. They did still have some small ‘disagreements’ that didn’t require Boden’s involvement but Stella was always happy to step in as their intermediary, usually by telling them they were being stupid and knocking some sense into them. They always made up the same though, with plenty of make-up sex, it almost made their bickering worth it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Walking into Boyd’s back yard together Kelly wraps an arm around Matt’s waist, they don’t know anyone here so they can act they couple as much as they want. They eat and make polite conversation with people but they were mostly rich snobs like Boyd, so instead they end up kicking a ball around with his son Riley, and Matt finally got to meet the great kid Kelly had been telling him so much about.

Sitting together on a bench in a quiet corner of the garden, under the shade of a tree with a beer in hand, Kelly has an arm around Matt’s shoulders, holding him close to his chest. Matt leans closer into their embrace, their lips meeting in a sweet kiss before he jokingly asks Kelly.

“So, am I ever gonna get to see this damn boat? The one that’s been steeling your attention from me.”

“Nothing could take my attention away from you.” Kelly says, pulling Matt in for another kiss. “You know, we’ve both got furlough soon and with the money I just made from ‘the damn boat’, maybe I’ll take you away to some fancy hotel room and give you my undivided attention.”

“Now, that sounds damn good.” Looking into each other’s eyes Kelly sees Matt’s pupils dilate ever so slightly. “Show me the boat.” Matt says, changing the subject before he jumps Kelly here and now.

“Right this way.” Kelly takes Matt’s hand and leads them over to the garage.

Coming in through the side door Matt catches sight of the boat and lets out a low whistle. “Wow, she’s beautiful.” He says walking around the boat and running his hand along the wood. “Sometimes I forget just how talented you are.” Matt adds, looking at Kelly with something close to awe in his eyes.

Kelly could honestly say he’d never been this happy before, if he had only one wish it would be that he’d kissed Matt so much sooner than he did. They could’ve had so much more time together and he makes up for that every day by kissing Matt every chance he gets.

Like now, walking around the boat he pulls Matt into his arms and a passionate kiss. When Kelly’s hands slip from his waist down to his ass and squeeze, Matt separates their lips and with a smirk he says.

“I think it’s time for us to leave.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Crashing through the front door of their apartment, mouths locked in a fierce battle as their tongues fight for dominance, they stumble towards their bedroom, shedding clothes along the way. It hadn’t taken long for them to move Matt’s stuff into Kelly’s room after they got together, they already lived together anyway so it just made sense and Kelly’s room was bigger and had its own bathroom so it was the better choice.

Standing together by their bed, both men stark naked, kissing and touching everywhere they can reach Kelly slides his hands down Matt’s sides all the way to the back of his thighs and picks him up, with a moan Matt wraps his legs tight around Kelly, something about the way he could just pick him up and manhandle him never failed to turn him on. Falling back on the bed still tangled up together and joined at the lips. They’d had sex this morning so his fingers slick with lube Kelly gets straight to it, sliding two fingers inside Matt who throws his head back into the pillows with a groan as he pushes back against Kelly.

Kelly had spent the last four months mapping out every single sweet spot and sensitive area on Matt’s body, learning the perfect angle or way to touch him, he knows Matt’s body better than his own at this point. Scissoring his fingers to open Matt up and hit his prostate at the same time as he kisses his neck, making sure to hit the pulse point just below his ear and along his collar bone, he works Matt into a frenzy.

His legs wrapped around Kelly pulling him in closer, one hand holding onto the back of his neck and the other fisted in the bed sheets it’s all Matt can do to remember how to breath as Kelly takes him apart piece by piece. He thought he knew everything before he slept with Kelly but that man was a borderline god in the sheets and he’d officially ruined Matt for any other man but that was fine because he didn’t anyone else, ever. Once Kelly’s got three fingers inside of him, Matt can’t take it anymore.

“Kelly, come on.” He pants, begging Kelly to move this along.

“What, you think you’re ready?” Kelly teases him with a smirk as he rolls his fingertips over Matt’s prostate relentlessly, making fireworks explode behind his eyes, his brain short circuits as his back arches and his rock hard dick twitches releasing a blurt of precum on his own stomach.

“K-Kelly, fuck me.” Matt groans, all other words erased from his vocabulary.

Leaning over him Kelly crashes their lips together in a messy kiss, then kissing his way down Matt’s neck and chest he stops and looking Matt in the eye he slowly licks the precum off his stomach.

“Turn over.” Kelly growls, pulling his fingers out. It takes a second for the words to reach Matt’s brain and another for his body to do what he wants it too.

They’d started out using condoms but they were both clean and it’s not like they could get pregnant so they ditched them pretty quick. Matt kneeling in the middle of the bed and resting on his elbows as Kelly slicks his cock and slowly sinks his cock into him from behind. Holding a firm grip on Matt’s hips Kelly sets a steady rhythm, thrusting in an out at the perfect angle, Matt pushes back on every thrust as he grips onto the pillow he’s moaning into.

Littering kisses across Matt’s back and shoulders, Kelly husks in his ear. “This what you wanted, baby?”

Every time Matt tried to speak Kelly did something that made his words disappear into a moan or groan, a sharp snap of his hips or reaching under his body to tease his nipples or take hold of his cock and tease the head.

“F- fuck!” Matt finally groans into the pillow.

Sliding his hands up from Matt’s hips and around to his chest Kelly pulls Matt up so they’re both kneeling back to chest his rhythm never faulting once.

“Quit it with the pillow.” He growls in Matt’s ear, wrapping a hand around his cock and stroking in time with thrusts. “I wanna hear you – you make the most beautiful sounds.”

“Ah, K-Kelly. Matt stutters as he reaches back for Kelly, one hand wrapping around his neck and the other holding onto the back of Kelly’s thigh. “I’m g-gonna –”

Kelly can feel the muscles in Matt’s stomach go rigid and knows he’s right on the edge, whispering in his ear he says. “Cum for me.” And he does, throwing his head back onto Kelly’s shoulder as his muscles spasm and the orgasm washes over him, Kelly has the perfect view of his face. Kelly was on the edge too but when Matt’s muscles start clenching around his dick it’s too much and he cums deep inside his boyfriend.

Still holding onto each other Kelly pulls out and they fall forward and to the side avoiding the wet patch in the bed and spoon as they catch their breath and come down together.

“We should clean up.” Kelly says once his breathing returns to normal.

“I can’t feel my legs.” Matt comes back with, his voice all dreamy and looking over at him Kelly can tell he’s still floating. Feeling very proud of himself Kelly gets up and grabs a washcloth to clean them up with, it gets thrown in the general direction of the laundry hamper and Kelly gets back into bed to spoon Matt.


	17. Day 318 - 10 months, 15 days (December 26th - Off Shift 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys first Christmas as a couple. Oh so much fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quarantine is melting my brain!!!! 
> 
> I hadn’t said anything until now because I know it’s almost impossible to be online and not see something about COVID and FanFic is an escape for all of us at the best of times but what I will say is I hope everyone is safe and healthy and a serious shout out and much love for any health or key workers. Stay safe everyone, much love. Xx

Getting home from shift and dumping their bags the first thing Matt does is switch the Christmas tree lights on, standing there and looking at the tree that they’d decorated together he gets lost in the moment until he feels Kelly come up behind him and wrap his arms around his waist.

“Merry Christmas, baby.” Kelly says, gently kissing his neck.

“Our first one together.” Matt replies dreamily as he leans back into Kelly’s chest.

“First of many.” There’s a tender moment between them but Matt can’t help the chuckle bubbling up inside him. “What you laughing at?” Kelly asks, pulling Matt tighter into his body.

“Nothing. You just get a little mushy sometimes.” Matt admits, turning in Kelly’s arms to face him.

“Only for you.” Kelly smirks, his hands sliding down to grab Matt’s ass. “Right, enough of this. I need breakfast, you hungry?”

“Yeah, but I wanna shower first. You could join me.” Matt suggests.

“Tempting, but I’m hungry and I showered at the house. You shower and I’ll cook. We have all day for that.” Kelly gives him one last kiss and heads to change before cooking.

“Tease.” Matt fake pouts, smacking Kelly’s ass as he walks away.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In the shower Matt thinks over last shift, working Christmas day wasn’t so bad, those without family got to spend the day with their firehouse family and if you could survive Herrmann’s mood it was actually a great day. Herrmann was in a mood all day, at the beginning of shift he was tired because the kids had woken him and Cindy up at 5am but after a power nap he was just pissed about missing Christmas with his kids, which was understandable. He perked up when Cindy brought the kids by for a few hours in the afternoon. The calls were quiet, Ambo caught a few runs, people really needed to learn that kids toys have ages on them for a reason. There was only one fire, a kitchen fire but there was no major damage and no injuries.

Casey and Brett took over the kitchen making a huge meal for the house and everyone pitched in, helping to peel or chop vegetables or just washing the dishes when they were done. It was one of the better holiday meals they’d had if Matt said so himself. Once they had everything in the oven Casey had a little surprise for all the officers in house and called them out into the snow for a very important ‘officer’s meeting’.

“What’s this all about, Captain?” Boden asked, buckling up his turnout coat.

“A little Christmas present for us.” Casey said pulling four cigars from his pocket. Each man took a cigar and inhaled along the length, Boden was the first to recognise the smell.

“Are these the – I thought you lost these in the fire?” Boden’s a little stunned, these cigars were legendary and he’d thought they were gone.

“How did you replace them?” Herrmann asks just as surprised as Boden.

“I know some people.” Casey had smirked back.

“That’s not an explanation.” Boden said in a rare moment of sass.

“Just enjoy it, guys.” Severide said, swiping the cigar cutter from Casey’s hand.

“Hey!” Casey playfully shoved him back.

They smoked their cigars, laughing and chatting about anything and everything. Once they were done Casey headed back inside to put the finishing touches on lunch and the house sat down to eat.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Out the shower Matt changes into sweatpants and one of Kelly’s hoodies, although it was more like his now and his favourite thing to wear on lazy days at home together. He finds Kelly wearing something similar as he plates up their breakfast, moving to the couch they sit and eat before cuddling up and watching tv, neither man really watching but just enjoying the quiet morning and warmth of each other.

“I assume we’re sticking to the original plan, yeah? Watch old movies all day and order Chinese tonight.” Matt breaks the silence.

“Sounds good to me. I can think of a few other things we could do too.” Kelly says, running his hands up and down Matt’s sides.

“I’ll bet you can.” Matt smiles back at him. “Why don’t we do gifts first?”

“You mean this isn’t my gift?” Kelly asks sarcastically, smacking Matt on the ass as he gets up to grab the gifts from under the tree.

“Behave.” Matt laughs, swatting at Kelly.

“You started it.” Kelly defends.

Putting two gift bags on the coffee table Matt leans in to give Kelly a kiss. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

“I love you, Matty.”

“Love you too. Now open your damn gift already!” Matt says getting excited. “Do you have any idea how hard you are buy for?”

“Alright, alright I’m doing it.” Kelly chuckles reaching into the gift bag and pulling out a small jewellery box, too big for a ring but too small for a watch. Opening the lid Kelly sees a pendant on a chain, the same as the one he’d been wearing for he didn’t know how many years and he’d lost about a month ago.

“You replaced it for me.” Kelly says touched, no one had ever gotten him anything so sweet and personal.

“I know you were hoping we’d find the old one but you can wear this for now and it’s not exactly the same. I had it engraved.”

Kelly takes the pendant from the box and turns it over, reading the inscription ‘with you always’. “I love it. Thank you.” He says pulling Matt in for a kiss.

“You’re welcome, open the other one.”

“You know, you’re cute when you get all excited like that.”

“Shut up.” Matt says, a light blush creeping up his neck.

Kelly reaches in for the second wrapped present, it’s big and heavy and feels like a book – and it’s a book. A coffee table book ‘Wind and Water: Boating Photography from Around the World’.

“It’s beautiful. Maybe we can pick out a place to go for our next furlough.” Kelly suggests, as he flips through the pages something falls out and lands on his knee.

Tucked between the pages was a strip of photos from an old photobooth, four small photographs of four old friends. The pictures are from years ago, a night out for Shay’s birthday and one of the many clubs they hit up had a photobooth so she dragged them in, Kelly, Matt and Andy. Crammed in the booth and pulling silly faces, in the top picture Matt and Kelly are practically making googly eyes at each other and the second one has Shay pouting in the middle with Matt and Kelly either side, kissing her cheek and Darden at the bottom just pulling a face, he was such a lightweight.

Kelly’s lost in memories of a night that is admittedly a little hazy when Matt says. “Is it just me or does Shay look like she knows we’d end up here one day?”

“It’s Shay. Of course she did.” They share a laugh and Kelly pulls him in for another hug. “Thank you, I love it. Where did you find these? I thought we lost them.”

“One of the few books that survived my apartment fire, it was tucked between the pages. Which is why it’s slightly singed along one edge.”

“You’re turn. Fair warning, nothing’s actually wrapped. I tried but it looked like a toddler did it, so Stella said to use tissue paper instead.”

Laughing Matt reaches into the bag and feels around, choosing the bigger of the two. He pulls out a simple wooden photo frame, turning it over he sees the only photograph of him and his mom that survived the fire but now it’s fixed, no more singed edges and the background that had bubbled now showed his childhood home.

“You – you fixed it.” Matt says stunned, his voice getting choked up. “How did you it?” He adds, tearing his eyes away from the photograph to look in Kelly’s eyes.

“I got a guy, he restores old or damaged photographs. So, I swiped it and asked him to take a look at it. How’d he do?”

“It’s just like I remember it but you’re perfect. I can’t believe you did this, thank you.”

“I’d do anything for you.” Kelly pulls Matt in for a sweet kiss, their lips parting he says. “Open the other one.”

Reaching back into the bag Matt pulls out a small box, a ring box, jewellery seems to be a theme today but if this was an engagement ring he was gonna kick Kelly’s ass because they weren’t there yet. About to open the box it suddenly hits him and he thinks he knows what’s in the box, slowly opening the lid he sees it. His mom’s ring, the gold ring with a single emerald, the ring she wore every day and the ring that was melted into a twisted mess in the fire. Matt can’t find his voice but even if he could he has no idea what he’d say, how do you express someone giving you back your happiest childhood memories.

Kelly moves in close behind him and wraps his arms around Matt. “This one was a little easier, just found the best jeweller in Chicago and they did the rest. I added an inscription inside the band though.”

Taking out the ring Matt reads what Kelly had written inside. ‘She’s always with you’.

“Kelly. I don’t even know what to say.” Matt says barely above a whisper, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

“You don’t have to say anything. I meant what I said, I’d do anything for you. The night I came home and found you staring at this picture and holding the ring, it was one of the worst feelings I’ve ever had, seeing you that upset – it broke my heart. I will always do whatever I can to help you pick up the pieces and I know that I never want to see you in that much pain again.”

“What I got you is nothing compared to this.”

“What are you talking about? You gave me everything. I’ve got you, I don’t need anything else.”

“You really are going soft on me.” Matt lets out a chuckle through the few tears still falling.

“Only for you but don’t tell anyone.” Kelly holds Matt tight and gently kisses his neck.

“Deal.” Matt agrees, picking up the photo frame again.

“You were so cute, look at that blonde hair and big smile. You’re even missing a front tooth. It’s so sweet.”

“Shut up.” Matt chuckles, it’s how he responds every time Kelly embarrasses him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They spend the rest of the day wrapped up in each other, in their own little world, safe in their apartment from any distraction the world might try to throw at them. Watching Casablanca and ordering Chinese take-out later in the day before going to bed that night and as much as Kelly hates these words he can’t think of another way to describe it than making love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so excited for the last chapter! I’ve had it written for forever! It’s short, like really short, I’m warning you now but it’s so sweet with so much fluff. I’m not joking you’re gonna loose some teeth, it’s that sweet!
> 
> Forgot to say thank you for everyone’s suggestions of what gift Matt could give Kelly, I would have had zero ideas without your help.


	18. Day 1722 – 4 years, 8 months, 19 days (October 29th – Off Shift)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the final chapter we go almost 5 years into the boys future.

Walking through the apartment he’d shared with Kelly for almost five years, it was so strange to see the place completely empty, no furniture and nothing hanging on the walls, it felt smaller somehow. Today they were moving to a new place, a house, they’d bought months ago and he’d fixed it up. Kelly had helped too, well sort of but construction wasn’t really his thing, Kelly’s better with machines. Reaching what was once his bedroom, Casey can’t help but think of how much had changed since the day he moved in, a lot happened inside these walls.

Matt’s lost in thought when he feels Kelly come up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing his neck.

“Everything’s in the van, if you’re ready to go. The movers just need to grab the crib.”

Matt turns around in Kelly’s arms and kisses him deep. “Let’s go home.” He says with big smile, walking up to the crib Matt leans over and reaches for the tiny person inside. “How’s that sound little Leslie? You wanna go see your new home?”

The six week old baby girl, gurgles up at him blowing a spit bubble.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Matt gets Leslie strapped into her carrier seat and the movers take the crib downstairs.

Closing the front door behind them Matt doesn’t look back, this time, he’s looking forward.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I will be getting back to the Long Love Story, see you there. 🌹🌹

**Author's Note:**

> As always open to comments, requests and suggestions.


End file.
